Playing Pollyanna

Whew, a lot has happened since I last posted (those cloth diaper posts were scheduled). Craig's parents came last weekend to visit us and meet Lucy. We had a great time and sometime in the future when life is less crazy, I'll tell you about it and post some pictures. But on Monday they left to drive back to North Dakota, taking me and Lucy to my parents on the way.

I was really nervous about taking a 5 hr long drive with Lucy but she did great. She slept 2.5 hrs, ate while we got gas and took a snack break then slept another 2.5 hrs. That afternoon she did was overwhelmed and did nothing but fuss and eat to make up for it but that was okay. Better to be crying in my arms that in a car seat.

But as soon as we got to my parents, my dad came home with good news. The second opinion doctor they had been talking to had received my mom's files and said that surgery might be an option but she had to see my mom in Texas at 8:30 the next morning. Since my mom is still recovering from the last brain surgery, she can't fly which means they need to leave ASAP on a 12 hr drive to the hospital. Throwing things in a suitcase, they took off just a few hours after I got there. It wasn't exactly what we had planned and I was hoping to spend more time with my mom but I'm really glad that this is happening. If the surgery is possible, her prognosis is much better.

But I gotta tell ya, the last few days have been hard. Taking care of a newborn is tiring. Taking care of a newborn by yourself is exhausting. Taking care of a newborn by yourself while house/cat/dog-sitting and trying to help your 16-year old brother manage intense emotions (you know, the ones he won't talk about because he is a 16 year old boy) while trying to process through those same emotions yourself is pretty much brutal. I've wanted to chuck a shoe at our stupid cat that is used to being fed at 4:30am but overall, I'm glad it worked out this way. If I had known this was going to happen, I probably would have stayed home, but I'm glad I'm here to be with my little brother. This has been hard on me and I can't even imagine him trying to be here by himself. Plus, it's nice for me to have him around too. He is one of two other people who are going through the same thing I am.

And Lucy and I are managing. I've gotten food on the table and laundry done every day which is a miracle (I just heated up food our nice friends and neighbors have brought but still!) and I figured out that Lucy will sleep longer in her vibrating bouncy seat if I cover her legs with my old stinky clothes instead of a nice clean receiving blanket. This enabled me to take my first shower since Monday and now to write this post.

Of course, that couldn't be everything right? So last night Craig called to tell me he was in a car accident. He is fine but the car - not so much. I haven't heard the final result but in the opinion of the police man and the tow truck driver, it was not going to make it. I'm naturally an optimistic person but even I struggled to find the good in this. Yet I prevailed. For one, Craig is okay. He might be sore today but he'll survive. Secondly, Lucy and I weren't there. I start to hyperventilate even thinking about her being in the car. Third, we had been going back and forth about buying a new car anyway and I guess this just made up our mind for us.

So I think I've done pretty good so far trying to replicate Pollyanna's philosophy in my life. But if God wants to hold off on giving me any more opportunities to find something to be glad about for just a little while, I'd be okay with that too.