A Potty Update

FYI - Lucy is 13 months old at the time this is being written.


I’ve been meaning to do an update on potty training for a while now. The last 6 weeks has had its ups and downs. The very same day she “become a toddler” in her attitude, we started having trouble. She still loved to sit on the potty most of the time, but she wouldn’t go. And then as soon as she stood up, she would go on the floor. Or I knew she would have to go but they she wouldn’t want to sit on the potty. So I wouldn’t make her but then would change her 5 minutes later.

I really didn’t want potty training to become a battle (and still don’t!) so I was thinking about dropping the whole thing for a while but after talking to a few ec moms and reading some online, I realized that it was tied to her new found independence. No, she wasn’t doing it just to spite me, but she wanted to do more herself and wasn’t able. Just like she wanted to do more in every other area of her life but was frustrated with her inabilities.

So instead of stopping, we stepped it up a notch. I gave her lots of naked time in the mornings (when she normally goes a lot, maybe every 20-30 minutes or so). When it wasn’t so hot out we spent a lot of time outdoors but we did some inside too. It got a little messy but I used a baby gate to keep her in the kitchen with its easy to clean floors and wiping up an “accident” off linoleum is actually less work than fighting her through a diaper change. At first, when I saw her go, I would just inform her and then have her help me clean up (well, watch as I did). Now, I pick her up and move her to the potty saying something like “Oh dear, pee goes in the potty.”

I also started involving her more in the whole potty process. I got her some trainers and she gets to pick whether she wants to wear diapers or “undies” sometimes. It cracks me up because it takes her a few minutes and  if you look at her face, is really does appear like she is studying her options and thinking hard but she always picks undies. She doesn’t always get to pick, if we are going out, or if I know I’m going to be distracted I’ll put her in a diaper. And to keep my sanity, after three wet trainers, I stop giving her the option and she wears diapers the rest of the day. Or somedays I’m just not in the mood so its diapers all the way. I probably should be more consistent, but well, I’m not! She doesn’t seem to expect the option but she likes it when it is given.

I’m making our bathroom more Lucy friendly (with help from some Montessori resources) and part of that involved building a stool. So know she loves to climb up and wash her hands. And she likes to wave bye-bye and watch me flush it away.

The result? Progress! Not necessarily in number of successes but in awareness and communication. She is definitely taking more initiative. The last week she has learned how to pull up her undies mostly by herself (she needs a bit of help at the end) and she now signs potty. I’ve realized that she doesn’t like to be rushed and will let me know if she is done or if she wants to keep sitting. Sometimes we end up sitting for quite a while but I’ve learned to be okay with that.

One time during my last trip to my parents, she went three times in a row and was in the same diaper from (I stick with diapers all the time when I’m there)  11 to 4. At four, she successfully went #1 (for the third time in a row!) but then just sat there. I tried to pick her up but she pushed my hands back but I knew she had gone so picked her up anyway and put her back in a diaper. We didn’t even make it down the stairs before she had filled it up. But I had no one but myself to blame and she gave me this, “Well, I tried to tell you” look. Bad mommy!

Also, the week earlier, we were running around with Craig’s parents. She had gone on the potty right before we left but it had been a couple hours so I took her to the Target bathroom to change her diaper. It was still dry but I didn’t have a potty with me so I put it back on her. She didn’t seem to like that but I told her it was okay because there was no potty. 20 minutes later we were home and she was soaking.

Of course, we have our fair share of “bad” days too. Times when she ends up peeing on the floor then seems surprised to find a puddle there. Times when we’ve used three trainers by 10am. Times when she is standing in the living room, signs potty but I mistake it for bug and starting asking her where the bug is, then watch as she pees on the carpet (to be fair to myself, that was the first time she had signed potty and it does look remarkable similar to her sign for bug)

At this point, I’m not sure how I feel about “stage 2.” Stage 1, which I guess is what I am calling my last post method ( I just made up the stages right now so go with me :-) was pretty much no risk, all reward. I just don’t see a reason not to let a baby/young toddler try the potty at diaper changes. This stage has a bit of risk to it. Things get wet, so far not too much has gotten pooped on but I’m sure it is just a matter of time. But she seems to be doing well an is back to enjoying the process so we are sticking with it. I’ll let you know if that changes.