I've mentioned little things here and there about Jonah's being little and us having minor medical issues but haven't really talked about the full story, even with most people I know in real life. I had a small group of people who knew and were helping me get information but for the most part, it was just too hard to talk about because it was too hard to think about.
Craig won't let me put up any cutesy sayings in the house, you know the ones you see on Pinterest about a mother's heart walking around outside their body or how a mother holds their kids hands for a while but there hearts forever. Strictly forbidden. He thinks they are too cheesy. And they are super cheesy, but they are also true! So when it comes to Jonah's weight gain this isn't just a sensitive issue, it's more akin to someone taking my heart, rubbing it with sandpaper and pouring a bottle of lemon juice on top. So maybe not something I was willing to disclose to the entire internet.
I still don't feel like rehashing the whole thing but the jist - for the past months his weight percentile has been dropping. And nothing we did seem to help. We were working with our doctor and lactation counselors and tried all sorts of things, breastfeeding management strategies, pushing solids, I'm on medication, he's on homeopathics. Each new thing we tried, I'd pray it would make a difference and then - nothing. We kept thinking that the older he got, the better it should be because if he's hungry, he should eat, right? But the older the got, the worse he did, not only according to the chart (he was below the bottom line or <0 asking="" but="" eat="" etc.="" he="" hungry="" in="" nbsp="" p="" percentile="" practical="" refusing="" s="" signing="" solids="" struggling="" terms="" to="" with="">
"Luckily", as I said, things got worse and we started seeing other symptoms and clues to what might be going wrong which eventually led us to a tongue tie specialist. Two weeks ago today, we got to see her and that very morning, she revised his posterior tongue tie and lip tie. The procedure itself was a bit rough. Craig stayed to help restrain him but I had to leave and pace the hallway. The doctor told us up front that he did have ptt and lt but there were no guarantees that it was the cause of his issue or that it would fix them especially at his age when he's already learned some bad habits nursing wise. Craig and I felt like we had to try anyway but knowing you are hurting your child is hard, even if your brain knows you have good reasons for doing so. Your instincts are screaming, stop, give me my baby!
Then after the procedure came the stretches. To prevent it from healing closed, we have to "stretch it" every 4-6hrs round the clock. Nothing brings more excitement to a middle of the night feeding than turning on all the lights so you can see, having your husband hold down your baby so you can force his mouth open with a tongue depressed and make him scream and cry. Except if you are like me, you don't crave excitement at midnight, you crave silence and happiness and sweet dreams.
But, the happy part of this story is that is seems to be working. The very night of his procedure he ate more food than I've ever seen him. And not mushy dissolving stuff, like real food - a whole chicken leg's worth of chicken! He stopped crying for food and banging on the fridge constantly. We finally got past that dreaded "transition" stage that you will sound familiar if you cloth diaper, if not, move along and try not to figure out this sentence :-)
We went back for a check-up 5 days later and he had gained 6 ounces already as opposed to the 1oz/week he had been averaging. Another week later and he is continuing to gain. He's older now so it might take him a while to catch up but I do feel like we are on the right track now although we may have more work ahead of us. I'm not sure I'll totally relax until he's actually back on the chart but just knowing we're making progress is a huge weight off my shoulders. Parenting, it's not for the faint of heart.
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