I've reached the last month of this pregnancy. You know, the one that seems to last 100 years. I've never delivered a baby before my due date so I'm thinking I've still got a while to go but I do like to have everything ready by week 37 just in case and that's only a few days away. Last weekend, we set up the co-sleeper and assembled some baby items. Jonah saw me and started running around yelling "the baby is coming! the baby is coming!" and I had to inform him that he was jumping the gun just a bit.
I'm with him on being excited though. And not just excited not to be pregnant. This has definitely been my hardest pregnancy. I should be really desperate for it to end and it some ways I am but I also feel like God may be preparing me for it to be the last. I could be wrong but I'm trying to mentally and emotionally be ready if this is it. So as much as I'd like to be able to walk without waddling or wear some article of clothing that does not have a stain or hole in it*, I'm much more anxious to meet my baby than be done being pregnant...now if you ask me that again in 3 weeks, I may have a different answer.
I'm also dealing with quite a bit of anxiety, over my health, the baby's healthy, and the birth. That's new for me. I guess it's somewhat understandable given the rockier road we've taken to get here but its still throwing me for a loop. But I've been talking to Craig and my midwife about it and spending quite a bit of time praying about it which helps. And, well, anxiety or not, I can't stay pregnant forever.
So for now, I'm trying to savor this time. My calendar is pretty much clear of extra stuff except for weekly midwife and chiropractic appointments. I've do have a few playdates scheduled, hoping to get some quality girl talk in with friends before we sequester ourselves away during the cold and flu season. But tiny clothes are washed and put away, the diapers stacked, the freezer full of meals (24 dinners and a handful of snack type foods! I don't think that's nearly what I've had before but its much more than I really thought I'd be able to do so I'm happy!), the birth supplies sitting in the corner of the room awaiting the birth story that has yet to happen. We had our home visit with the midwife yesterday and things are all looking good. My iron is starting to go up and while I'm still on a crazy amount of supplements just to make sure it stays that way, I don't really have to worry about it anymore which is a huge relief. Baby is head down, growing right along, and judging from the kicks to my ribs, quite strong. So now we all just have to wait.
*Seriously, I'm down to almost nothing but am way to cheap to buy something with only a month to go. I did have one white shirt that was unstained and without holes - and then I spilled chloryphyll down the front. Chloryphyll is like a grass stain on steroids so I pretreated the heck out of it but am not holding out hope.