Wishing the village would mind its own business

Almost there, just three more day until swim lessons are over. Last week was incredible hot for June in our area. Temperatures in the upper 90s and humid and of course, Lucy had lessons from 3:30-4:45 so I'm out sitting in the tiny speck of shade I can find with a sweaty baby crawling on me and a bored 3 year old who doesn't find watching his sister swim to be that entertaining. Delightful! But at least the mom's were friendly and chatty. This week, the temperature is a bit more moderate but today's lesson was still a test of my patience. Three different people (one mom, two grandmothers) who were there felt the need to "help" me watch Norah. I think I managed to hold in my frustration and answer politely. Mostly, I just "oh, okay" when what I really wanted to say was more along these lines:

-Yes, I know she's holding a stick. It's fine.
-No, she can crawl on the concrete. It's not hot, I tested it and if it bothered her knees, she's probably stop.
-Yes, I know she has something in her mouth. It's the snack I just gave her.
-No, she isn't really "very tiny" for her age and she's perfectly healthy thank you very much. And since I've had a skinny baby that we worried over, if she was, I know for a fact that your comment wouldn't help make me feel better.
-No, she didn't put the wood chip in her mouth. I see it in her hand. Which I am looking at.
- Yes, I know she crawled under my chair. I watched her and can feel her banging it with her hand because I am sitting on it. Contrary to popular opinion, I do tend to keep an eye on my small children when we are next to a pool.
-No, you really don't have to physically restrain her from pulling up on that chair while I strap my carrier on. She's been pulling up for over a month now and is pretty good at it which is why I am standing next to her allowing it! Also, I am clearly about to pick her up so get your hands off my baby!
-Don't you people have your own kids to worry about!!!

That's not even taking into consideration how I let Jonah pet the owners (very sweet, calm and well groomed) dog while the grandmother next to me kept telling her granddaughter "oh no, you don't want to pet that dirty puppy, that wouldn't be nice, just stay here on my lap. "Jonah was on my side for that and kept looking at the grandmother like she was crazy while he was sitting and happily petting his "golden we-tweiver" friend from last week.

Yep, I'm that crazy mom that lets her kids pet friendly, well-mannered dogs and bang sticks around! Oh my, It's gonna be a looonnng week. But on the positive side, Lucy is doing great! Which is good because I really don't want to have to do this again next year.