Weaned

Didn't mean to disappear on you but our computer crashed last week and we just now got the new one. We knew it was coming, Craig had even researched what to get since two weeks ago it was tax free weekend - but we decided to try and hang on for another month or so. Three days later, it was toast. Oh well - everything was backed up and life goes on. Now I just have to get used to this new keyboard and in the meantime, please excuse the typos and enjoy this post I wrote the day before the crash.

The first week in August was National Breastfeeding Week so it seems funny that it was also the last time Lucy nursed.

Our weaning process was slow (and yes, it was our process because nursing is a relationship). Technically weaning started when she started eating solids 20 months ago but she didn't really slow down her nursing much. When I got pregnant, she was still nursing several times a day and probably at least twice a night. Then my milk supply decreased and so did the amount she nursed, but not that much. So I still wasn't sure if we were going to be a tandem nursing family or not. Either way was okay with me.

Now, I will be the first to admit that nursing while pregnant can be a whole different ball game. Some women don't seem to notice much of a change but I did, it just was not comfortable. And I did have to put more limits on when/how long which I believe is perfect reasonable considering her age and my needs, but I wasn't going to force her to stop completely. Partly because I could tell she wasn't emotionally ready (and frankly, neither was I) but also because I was pretty sure it was a big factor in keeping my "morning sickness" from evolving into full blown hyperemesis. And for me, almost any discomfort is worth not throwing up 6-8 times a day. Nursing was also the one way I could really rest during the day - if she was snuggled next to me she wasn't getting into trouble. But I also completely understand the decision the stop because of pregnancy. I highly recommend Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding during Pregnancy and Beyond if you find out you are pregnant and are still nursing. The only thing I don't like about it is the title because really most moms are likely to stop before reading the subtitle and it truly is a book about nursing while pregnant too and it offers lots of information and support - no matter what decision you make (or your body makes for you).

Okay, back to my story. My supply was pretty much gone by 5 months but still, she kept nursing although she was down to once a day or so, normally naptime. At that point, I really did think we would be tandem nursing. But the last 6 weeks or so, she just gradual decreased more from every couple days to about once a week.. By the time she got to once every 2-4 days, I kept expecting each time to be the last so I tried to savor it as if it was but there was always that one more time. Two days ago she asked but once she was in my lap, she said her mouth was too big  and that she was a big girl so she didn't need to share mimi (her word for nursing), the baby could have mimi and she could have milk... and candy.

I know that some kids unwean when the next baby (and the new milk) comes and of course, she could change her mind in a few days and ask again, but I'm pretty sure this is it. And I'm okay with that. When I thought about weaning when I first got pregnant, it just made me sad. Then I was torn. Even a month ago, the idea still had me tearing up. Someone said to me that it seems weird to be emotional about weaning when your pregnant because you have another baby to nurse coming soon. And yes, I think knowing that I have another baby on the way is nice* , but it also kinda missed the point. Breastfeeding really is a relationship and I'll never nursing Lucy again.  But now, she was ready and so was I.

My originally goals were 6 weeks, 6 months and 2 years. I made Craig promise not to let me quit before 6 weeks, no matter what we had to do to make it work. But I knew I really wanted to go to 6 months exclusive nursing (which we did) and to the WHO recommendation of at least 2 years. We made it to 27 months. I'm proud of that. If I had to describe my perfect weaning situation, this would probably be it. Of course, it is a bit sad, but in the same way that it will probably feel like when she first rides a bike, first spends the night away from me or goodness I'm not really ready to think about this - gets married.(I'd add goes to kindergarten but I'm already thankful I'm not going to have to deal with that - I'm sure I'd be a mess).  Being pregnant is also another reminder that in a few short weeks, she will no longer be my baby. But then again, she'll always be my baby.

*Although it also makes me want to go out and by the most complicated dress I can find. Being 8 months pregnant makes that seem like a pretty silly thing to do so I won't, but I want to. I don't feel like nursing really limits my wardrobe except when it comes to dresses. And the fact that I rarely wore a dress before I had Lucy seems irrelevant :-)

Baby Led Weaning (and a cute baby video)

I mentioned baby led weaning in an earlier post but didn't really explain what it was. Some of you may know but for those that don't and might be alarmed by my reports, I thought I would explain.

I read a lot of foodie blogs and with my interest in nourishing traditions style/whole foods eating I had seen a lot of making your own baby food. While pregnant, I had great visions of making all my homemade baby foods, freezing them in ice cube trays and serving my baby nothing but the best.

But then two things happened. One, my life changed. The last 6 months have been a bit more unsettled than I was expecting and that doesn't appear to be changing. I'm away from home about 1/3 of the time and the other time is spent going back and forth between two homes trying to get ready to move. I wouldn't change that right now but it doesn't make it easy to be super-domestic. Luckily, I also started hearing more and more about baby-led weaning and the more I heard, the more I loved!

It goes hand in hand with waiting for solids because by the time your baby is ready to eat, they are actually able to eat. The basic idea is two-fold.

1) Skip the purees. You give your baby food in a similar manner to what you would eat yourself. Even without teeth, babies can do a pretty good job of managing many foods. She may gag a bit, but its important to know that choking and gagging aren't the same. Gagging is a normal and health use of a reflex as she learns to move food back into her mouth. If it isn't working right, she gags it back up so she doesn't choke.

2) You let the baby feed herself. No opening your mouth up wide or making airplane movements to convince her to open hers. You give her food, she eats - or she doesn't. And she may take a while before she moves past the smushing it to the eating it stage. That's fine.We are actually turning out to be a little loose with this "rule." Lucy likes to hold and play with the food and she likes to eat (some) of it but she doesn't like to do both at the same time. She likes me to hold the food in front of her, then when she wants a bit she will lean forward with her mouth open and take it. Since she is still in charge of eating it when she so desires, I don't mind.

There are a several reasons while I think this method is great. Lucy will be sitting and eating dinner with us. It continues on the same self-regulated feeding that breastfeeding allows. Research shows babies will be less picky when they grow up since they get used to a wider variety of foods and textures. And one great short term benefit is that babies don't always have the same constipation problems that purees can bring on (the theory is that they don't get very much at first and gradually build up, they give their inexperienced little system a little bit more time to adjust). That alone should make it worth it! And you can read about those and others elsewhere if you wish but more than that, I like this method because I can do this!

I can do this at home, at my parent's, my in-laws next month or wherever our travels take us. I just feed her what we are going to be eating, with a little adjusting. Her first meal is a perfect example. I made sweet potatoes for our thanksgiving meal but covered ours in butter, orange zest and brown sugar. For Lucy, I just reserved some before all that, cut it into thick fry shaped pieces that would be easy for her to hold and let her at it. I started with just one food but if she was another month or two into eating, I could easily have given her shredded turkey and a couple green beans too.

To learn more about it:

Babyledweaning.com talks about Gil Rapley's research and the theory behind BLW.

Baby-led-solids.blogspot.com chronicles little buttercup's journey into the world of solids and is great for serving ideas.

But by far the most fun way to see it in action is youtube. Search Baby led weaning and there are lots of videos. And since BLW is more popular in England, although it is gaining popularity here in the U.S., not only do you get to watch babies eat, you get to listen to their parent's comment about it in British accents. Even if you don't have kids or any desire to do BLW, it's a great way to waste time. Archie's first food is a fun one. But of course, I think our kid is the cutest of them all, so here is Lucy enjoying her first banana. (And don't stop early, the last 10 seconds is my favorite :-)



She had already tasted sweet potatoes at this point but wasn't convinced she liked them. She would lean in to taste them, make a weird I-don't-think-I-like-this face, then lean in again. Silly baby. And apples were a no go. She picked them up and threw them but wasn't interested in eating them. But she is a fan of the 'nana.

Find the Finale

Nobody puts

any food in my bowl

but I

don't mind!

Did you find it? Hint: Use your mouse.

Gearing up

The last three or four weeks I've been feeling someone watching me. Specifically, watching me while I'm eating. It can be kinda funny, you move your spoon back and forth and it looks like her eyes move too. So then you go up and down, in circles, back and forth and her poor littles eyes start going crazy. Yep, Lucy's watching.

Apparently, even though you all know where I stand on solids too early, she didn't get the message. And while I still didn't think she was really ready, I began to feel a little guilty eating in front of her. So I did what all women do when the feel guilty - go shopping!

Last weekend, Craig and I hit the road and went baby supply shopping. We got a neat hook on high chair (we look at the phil and ted's metoo but liked this one better).

http://trus.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-2789178reg.jpg

Our wooden one is already at the new house since I thought we would be moved in by now - ha! This one is working fine for us now and will be great for when we are visiting our families over the holidays and at restaurants.

We also picked up a couple bummis bibs since they seem to be the favorite in my mommy circle, a table mat and a micro-steamer bowl to round out our purchase. We plan on doing baby led weaning so this whole eating thing is gonna get messy fast. But that should be pretty much all we need to buy.

For the last week, Lucy has been joining us at the table for our meals. But that doesn't mean she is getting any food. Nope, we sit her in her seat, buckle her up and give her an empty bowl and spoon!

See, I heard this theory that since babies are little humans and humans are social creatures, babies are surprisingly social. They want to be doing what everyone else is doing, go figure. (Why do I think this isn't going to be the last time she will be socially ready for something before she is developmentally ready? I don't think I will find it so amusing if she wants to start dating at 13 though.)

So I thought we would test it out. And it has been working. Instead of fussing in her swing and staring us down, she sits happily in her chair, waving her spoon back and forth and banging her bowl around - just like us. Okay, not quite like us, but close enough that she doesn't seem to notice the difference!

She's turning 6 months really really soon so actually food will be making an appearance any day now, but until then, don't tell Lucy she's missing out!