Saying Goodbye

I'm sitting in my regular writing spot on the couch to write this but something is different. I normally have a soft warm fluffy cat taking up more than her fair share so I have to write with my arm all scrunched. I would gladly scrunch my arm tonight but tonight I have more room than I'd like because unfortunately, we had to put her down today.

What are doing to me? I don't like my picture taken, didn't you learn that even before you adopted me?!

If you're a very long time reader, you might remember when we first got Zeeba. Or even before that we fell in love with her (and we learned about her anti-photography stance) while volunteering.  We thought she was a boy then and she had a different name but she was just as friendly. And pretty. I know I'm biased but she really was a very pretty cat. She's even had her own post at least once.

Lucy gets a good morning greeting. 

We've known for a few months that the end was getting close but it was still harder than I expected and I'm a mess right now. She was my nap time companion and the only one other than Craig who attended all three of my births. And all three of those kids had kitty as one of their first words. She was a daily part of our lives for 10 years and I already miss her so much.

One last quiet time bible study session with my favorite study buddy. She's got her grumpy face on. Perhaps she wasn't a fan of what John was saying? 

I'm not the only one who is having a rough time. Jonah and Lucy are both feeling the loss but in vastly different ways. Jonah's just five and trying to understand it all and it comes out - blunt. But I also know he's hurting inside. And oh my poor Lucy. She's so tender-hearted and is old enough to really get it so this is her first major loss like that. We had a few days notice and I knew she'd do better with some processing time and she and I have had some good discussions together as we both prepared. It's been such a good reminder of what a privilege it is to be given these three blessings to raise. Good but really hard.

I've had at least my fair share of grieving in my life so far. I don't know what awaits them but I know I can't shield them from loss no matter how hard I try. I can't shield them, but I can equip them. So we talked - about death and sin and its impact on the world, about how are feelings aren't bad and its okay to be sad and okay to cry and okay to be distracted and go play with our friends and okay to come back and be sad again. About how feelings can't always be trusted either. We didn't want to say goodbye to Zeeba yet and our feelings said to keep her with us but we couldn't trust that, we had a responsibility to her and not just ourselves. And we don't just talk, we grieve and do life together. We all said goodbye together. Lucy helped me put away Zeeba's cat tree and bowls. Jonah helped Craig dig her grave. I use the word "help" quite loosely but he was there and he got dirty so it counts. We all buried her together and said a prayer thanking God for giving her to us. It's been a hard week but you can't get all that from a character traits curriculum.

I'm pretty sure she's thinking "Ah, Chin rubs from one of my human slaves. This is the life."

Jonah asked if we could get another cat. Lucy's gone from never wanting to get another pet ever to changing her mind and then changing her mind again. And that's all okay. I feel the same way. Everytime I've said goodbye to a pet, I wonder why I do it. But I do know. Because Zeeba brought us joy for a decade. And in her passing, she's brought us growth. And it was worth it.

Zeeba, you were worth it. You were loved and we will miss you.

Simple Toys

I've already written about toys I don't like which, to summarize, is anything made of cheap plastic, with batteries, with a character on it, that makes excessive noise, and that can only be played with in one way...but I'm not a total scrooge. Here is a post that I kept me saying "Yes, that is just how I feel." Either way though, Craig has already made me promise that the only thing we will get for Nigel next Christmas is a box.* Because everyone knows babies like boxes more than toys that you spend money on.

Apparently, so do cats. Zeeba is not normally a super playful cat. She is more of a curl up next to you on the couch kinda cat, which suits me just fine. But every once in a while she gets feisty and wants to play. She just doesn't want to play with any official cat toys. Well, there is one toy she likes, a little Christmas tree some of our friends got us after we first got her. And while people may give us looks when they see a stuffed Christmas tree in our living room in the middle of July, at least right now it works with the decor.

But other than that one two, she likes homemade toys better. Her favorites:

- A ribbon, but only when we hold it above her. It's actually quite tiring on your arms but when we bought her a toy with ribbons on the end of a stick, it scared her. I tried to convince her it was the same thing only less of a work-out for me, but she didn't buy it.

- A rubber band. We discovered this about a month ago when I was using them to hold up my pants. I get nervous that she will swallow it so I only let her play when I'm watching but that isn't hard since it is hilarious. The best is when she has it under her foot and tries to pull it up with her teeth. Inevitably, it comes loose and snaps her paw, they she gets mad at it and pulls harder. It's a vicious cycle. I'd stop her, but every time she sees a rubber band she gets excited so it must not hurt that bad.

- A gum ball. The large kind you get for a quarter from a little vending machine. Craig got one last week and despite the fact that she finds her official cat balls with cute little bells inside boring, she loved the gumball. Alas, it disappeared, probably under some piece of furniture. Luckily it is wintertime or we might be having a major ant issue right now.

- The snoogle. Well, not so much the snoogle itself, but what the snoogle does to the bed. Left under the comforter, it makes the bed all hilly and lumpy and improves her pouncing ability (It's actually quite creepy if you want past the room with the lights off, more than once I scared myself thinking someone was sleeping in my bed). Just put a sock on the bed and she is entertaining for quite a while, pouncing and attacking it. But only when the snoogle is in place. Maybe on a flat bed the sock can see her coming so she doesn't bother? Who knows the mind of a cat?

Are there any weird "toys" your pets like to play with. Or is our cat just really weird?

*Can you keep a secret? - I might try to sneak around that rule by putting something in a stocking though. Everyone knows stocking presents don't count as real presents - just don't tell Craig!

Cats are So Weird, Part 2

Our cat's other hangout spot. It turned out the sink was merely a temporary place to sit while she was sick. Maybe she liked laying on the cool surface. This spot, however, is a perennial favorite of hers.

Cats are So Weird

Zeeba found a new hangout spot.

A day in the life of Zeeba

Traveling Cat: Part 2

I'm a little worried about Zeeba and how she is dealing with the move. She has been really clingy and whiny lately. At first I wondered if maybe her last family before the shelter left here when they moved so maybe the boxes made her worry that we would abandon her but then I realized that might be a little more thinking that she is capable of. She is a smart cat, but she is still just a cat. She is probably just confused by all the changes.

I took a recent trip to PetSmart though and stocked up on some things to ease the moving experience. We wanted a harness and leash so that we can let her out to stretch her little kitty legs on the trip. Since it was just me at the store, I went with the pink sparkly set. Craig wasn't so happy with my choice but I don't see why he would feel stupid holding a cat on a pink sparkly leash, do you?

We tried the harness on her and at first she bucked to get it off but eventually she got tired and accepted it. She was not as accepting of the leash, especially when we took her out and put her down on the ground. Apparently frolicking through the grass was not on her to do list for the day. I don't know if we will end up using them on the trip but at least we have the option. Her carrier is so little and I can't image laying in one position for 8 hours is any more comfortable than sitting in a Penske truck will be.

We also bought a bottle of At Ease. It is supposed to mimic cat pheromones and keep kitties calm. I don't really get how that would work at all, but I had heard that type of product recommended by Dr. Eric, a real veterinarian, so I have faith.

And who wouldn't have faith in this guy?

When I sprayed some on her ledge bed it seemed to work so hopefully a few squirts in her carrier each morning will ease her fears. And for $14.99 for a little bottle, it had better.

My parents have moved my old kitty, Mr. Knightley, all over the world and he always handles it well but Zeeba seems so stressed already that I am worried. We'll give you an update when we get there.

Traveling Cat

Zeeba definitely likes me more than MacKenzie. While MacKenzie does mean things like bathing the cat and trimming her nails, I sneak her extra food when MacKenzie isn't looking, and I remember to give her her laxative, which she loves. So it's not surprising that the cat has missed me while I've been gone (as I'm sure you readers have, too). Proof that the cat likes me more occurred when I was packing for my latest trip the other day.

Unfortunately, I had to explain to Zeeba the intricacies of airline travel for pets and the discomfort that she would feel en route. She decided to stay home.

Feline of the Week

And this week it's Samantha! She is friendly and playful. She also can't really meow. Half the time she tries, no sound comes out at all. The other half of the time it is a weird croaky sound. It's cute though, just like her.
And since her coat is so cool, I couldn't end this post without a side shot.

Feline of the Week

Oscar gets the spotlight this week. Often, when cats come into Four Paws custody, they are not well-taken care of. For long-haired cats, that means they weren't brushed, so their fur might be matted. It is necessary to shave off patches of matted fur. Thus, some cats have pretty bad haircuts when they go on display. That happened to Oscar. It will grow out, eventually.

Feline of the Week

MacKenzie and I are involved with Four Paws, a local animal rescue group. One of our duties is to feed the cats, which live at Petsmart, once a week. These cats are available for adoption on Saturday mornings. What I'd like to do is start a feature on this blog in which I highlight one of the resident cats each week. We acquired our cat, Zeeba, from Petsmart, and it has definitely been a positive experience for us.

The first Feline of the Week is Abby. She is a calico tabby. I really like this cat color scheme.

According to the information posted on Abby's cage, she likes people, but not cats or dogs. However, this information is often based on scant interaction with the cat, so it may or may not be true. Abby likes to be held, and like all Four Paws cats, she is fixed and has her shots. Adoption fee for this, or any other cat, is $75. The cats are always on display, so you can check them out next time you're in the area.