Jude's Birth Story

So I had a kid this weekend. His name is Jude and he is pretty cute. If you aren't into birth and birth-y details, you'll probably want to stop at the picture (or just skip all the words and go directly to the pictures and cute sibling stuff at the bottom). If you keep reading, you have been warned.

To back up, this pregnancy has not been easy. It hasn't been my hardest, that was Norah because my hyperemesis with her was just brutal. This time I started meds earlier and took a more aggressive approach to them and it really paid off. And although my sample size of 4 is not huge, my two boy pregnancies have been easier than my two girl ones and I don't find out the gender ahead of time so there isn't a bias in that.

So the hyperemesis was not as extreme and this was the first pregnancy that I didn't lose weight (I normally lose about 10 lbs before that reverses and I start to eat/gain again). But  I was on meds much longer than normal, all the way to 25 weeks plus progesterone shots to 30 weeks and bi-weekly blood draws to check my thryoid and progesterone levels. Then the nausea and sporadic vomiting came back at about 35 weeks. So by week 39, I was done with being pregnant. And measuring very large. Large = uncomfortable.

Then prodromal labor started 8 days before my due date. This was new to this pregnancy. Because my labors are so short, mild contractions even down to 10 minutes apart did not convince me "this was it" and we didn't have any real false alarms but they were annoying. And persistent. Persistently annoying - for days. Sometimes every hour, sometimes every 15 minutes. Sometimes intense. Sometimes barely anything. But there - all the time. Luckily with just one night's exception, I could sleep through them. The next Thursday (2 days until due date) was my midwife appointment. With her office being 45 minutes away, I wasn't comfortable driving myself but Craig took the afternoon off. I saw my midwives and vented a bit but they encouraged me. My fundal height was 45cm (40cm would be average) but everything was good, baby was healthy and besides the standard end-of-labor woes, my body was doing well. I also had a chiropractic adjustment in the same office. We went home, all had naps and then had a family evening walking around Target buying a few school supplies and then eating at Chik-fil-a. Tax-free weekend was coming up and Craig thought maybe we should wait on the school supplies but was wise enough not to insist on us coming back later once I said I wanted them then.

Friday I called in some more friends for moral support. Play dates had been my saving grace the past week as sitting at home wishing I wasn't pregnant is not really good for ones attitude. So Neighbor J came down and the kids played together all morning while we chatted. That night Craig made us some homemade pizza and we had another Star Wars family movie night. It's been so much fun to watch them with the kids as they see them for the first time. We just happened to have enough ice cream and hot fudge for a couple of ice cream sundays but not enough for everyone in the family so I had planned on making them once the kids were in bed but later on, I didn't feel like them so I went with something healthier. That should have tipped me off. I never DON'T feel like ice cream.  But Craig and I watched some Doctor Who together and I went to bed around 10:30.

A little after midnight on my due date of August 4th, I woke up and had a contraction. It wasn't bad, nothing different than the past week but I had a feeling and Craig might have too because when I went to the bathroom, he asked me if I was okay even though I've been getting up at least once a night to pee for the past month. I told him I was just going to pee but when I saw some bloody show, I wasn't quite so sure that would be all. I had another at 12:20 (which was actually the first time I looked at the clock), woke him up and told him to start timing them. Another contraction later and I knew it was real but I was getting very anxious just lying in bed in the dark waiting for them so I told Craig we should start doing the birth pool just to take my mind off of it. But when I got out to the living room I realized that even between contractions, which were still only every 10 minutes apart, that my belly felt very tight and uncomfortable while I was standing up so I laid down on the couch and watched him.

This was going to be my first water birth. Or at least water labor. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to deliver in the water. But I had somehow convinced myself that this labor would be my longest and I wanted to have the water as a back up pain relief option. And just to say I tried it I guess. I don't think it ended up being worth it for us but it did keep us occupied during the first stage :-)

Also as part of that longer labor worry, I had been reading up about hypnobirthing. I didn't read anything official, just birth blogs and vlogs. But I had been practicing saying the same phrases during each of the harder prodromal contractions and I was hoping to add that to my laboring repertoire. Before Lucy's birth Craig and I took a Bradley class and I do highly recommend them but my laboring had always put me very much "in a zone" and I need total silence and darkness and just to be left alone. This time, I wanted to be a little more present if possible. And since I always like to pep myself up with positive birth stories, I had read a few "no pain labor" stories were they talk about how they felt pressure but not pain and while I certainly liked that idea, I also kinda scoffed. I mean, you can call it whatever you want but it's still gonna hurt.

So I took over the phone app contraction calculator. At 1:11, I also called the midwife and stupidly said not to come yet but I wanted to let her know things had started. She half listened to me and got up and got things ready but just didn't start driving yet. She was wise. But this was the only time I had been able to call the midwife, normally I'm too in my zone and Craig has to do that. But this time between contractions, I was really alert and fine in our semi-lit living room and whenever a contraction started, I started my sayings. It was basically a prayer asking God to be with me and be my rod and my staff (something I hadn't practiced but had seen on pinterest earlier that day that really stuck with me. I mean, it's a popular psalm for a reason!) and thanking him for this blessing and for ordaining this day to be our baby's birthday. And asking for help/thanking him for bringing His peace to me so that I could not be afraid and allow my body to do what it needed. I wasn't reciting a memorized prayer but I used the same phrases each time. AND IT TOTALLY WORKED. I honestly can say I didn't feel any pain during first stage labor at all (FIRST stage. Second stage was a whole different ballgame). Yes, lots of pressure but no pain. It was crazy. Craig didn't even always know when I was having a contraction because I was just lying on the couch the whole time (I did flip from my right side to my left once or twice but never left couch) but he always found out quickly because I shushed him pretty quickly.

I've always struggled with prayer. I've done small group studies and read books and I do value a consistent prayer time but I would never say prayer was a strong thing for me. But I think even more than the no pain part, my memories of praying during this labor and my feeling like God was so close to me and listening will be one of the things I most remember.

And about 1:40 he called the midwives back and told them to come. At 2:20 the tub was ready so I got in. My contractions were about 1:15 seconds long and every 3 minutes but I felt like I probably had a long ways to go because I was still so alert and feeling fine and no pain yet. In fact, after the first contraction in the water, Craig took a picture of me laboring in the tub. It didn't turn out because lights were too low but I am smiling and I remember thinking "Oh, my Bradley book wouldn't even want me leaving for hospital yet if I can still smile). Well, that Bradley book would have been wrong!

I had three contraction in the tub and on the last one I felt pushy but didn't want to tell Craig that because I thought I was wrong.  Then I felt a lot of pressure and my water broke. I was a little curious beforehand how I would know if my water broke in the tub but it was very obvious. Like someone burst a water balloon inside of me, no real mistaking it. Then I felt like I really had to push but the midwives were not here yet and I was not comfortable birthing in the tub without them. So I frantically called Craig and I got out of the tub.

(Side note: We normally stop timing contractions once they get intense and C gets busy but since I was doing it, I kept going until I got in tub. So I know that between the app contractions plus the two before and 3 after. I had exactly 29 contractions before I started pushing. Not that it means anything but I think its neat to know)

This was the first pain of the night. And it was extreme. It was so hard to climb out and I needed to push but I was standing there and it was slippery and I was clinging to Craig. Finally we managed it and he put down towels so I could be on my hands and knees. Craig told me midwives were about 10 minutes away and I think we were both wondering if we'd be doing this alone - again.

This is where it always gets hard for me because, with the exception of Jonah's birth, I don't feel the urge to push until I've pushed for a while and baby is lower. My contractions pretty much stopped and while some of the birth books tell you to use this time to rest and regain strength before pushing but I'm only (kinda-sorta) comfortable on my hands and knees and I can't rest there. I remembering telling Craig I couldn't do this and he was like "oh, are you in transition?" and I snapped back something along the lines of  "No, I'm past that already. I just don't want to push without the urge to and its annoying" but probably more agitated and less understandable. I never really did have a classic transition phase where my first stage contractions were super close together or I felt overwhelmed emotionally speaking which is really cool. But pushing is not cool I hate pushing. But I also know it won't go away if I wait so I just forced myself to push anyway. Midwives arrive in a few minutes (2:50ish?) and start setting up and encouraging me.

This is where the true glory of a midwife comes in. I don't like a lot of hands-on help, especially during first stage and I can't really verbally communicate anything, but my midwives always seem to know when I do and don't need that and offer it accordingly. And I think Craig can pick up on that too. He starts rubbing my arms and encouraging me. They get me a few sips of water. Every time they check on baby with doppler and I hear the heartbeat I get a renewed sense of energy because I want to meet this kid and be done with all this laboring. Finally I start to feel the urge to push more and the ring of fire coming. The head is out and then - another sticky shoulder. Last time with Norah's sticky shoulder, they helped me put my leg up real quick and with just a little bit of help from the midwife, she slid right out. This time, no such luck. We tried one leg up, we tried the other. I'm pushing with all I have but baby doesn't seem to be moving. I have no idea how long it was but probably 2-3 minutes. It felt like an hour.

And then he was here! And a boy. We hadn't found out the gender in advance but that now makes my record 4/4 at correctly anticipating what we'll get. This time, I was more guarded at saying it out loud because 1) little pitchers have big ears. I have never really understood that expression despite my mom using it all the time but I didn't want the kids to think it was going to be one way and be upset if it wasn't and 2) I knew I really wanted a boy and was worried I only thought it was a boy because I wanted a boy and I didn't want to be disappointed. I'm pretty sure if we had a girl I would changed my opinion in about 1.5 seconds and never looked back but I did really want this little guy to be -a  guy.  Anyway, back to the story.

So at 3:11, Jude Norman enters the world and he is perfect.  We get onto bed and cuddle. Kids wake up and come out to meet him. Later on Lucy tells me she had a dream I was screaming :-) She also tells me Norah woke up but she told her a story so she would stay in bed and they fell back asleep until Jonah woke up and needed to pee and then they all heard a baby crying so they came out. Lucy got to cut the cord and the midwife shows them the placenta and the remaining sack and explains it all. This first "golden hour" is one of the moments I visualized during labor too because it's honestly one of my favorite times of my whole life. Everyone just happily rejoicing and moving about but I'm just sitting there, on an hormonal high, holding this new person I love so much.

I nurse for a while but I did tear so Craig does some skin to skin while they fix me up. Kids go back to bed around 4am and Norah tells me that she "covered her head and her baby duke (lovey) with a blanket because she didn't want to see all the noise. The midwives and baby were too noisy". Around 6, we've all eaten and I'm back in bed nursing the baby and the kids wake up again. All that is left is to check this baby boy out. Craig, the three midwives and I all make our weight guessing. Mine was 9lbs2oz the week before he was born and I stick with it. The midwives are all up in the 9s but higher than me. I've already told Craig he looks like a little football player. But we are still all shocked when he ends up 10lbs6oz! Norah was my second biggest baby at 8lbs8oz which is not too shabby either but still quite a bit smaller. All his measurements are just big (14.5 in chest!)  Then the midwives head out and our new lives as a family of 6 begin!

My one and only attempt to put newborn clothes on him. Craig's to-do list for the next day had one more item than expected: switch out newborn clothes for the next size up. 

Ah, 0-3 months sleeper. That's better. 

Norah's a fan. Maybe a little too much of a fan at times but she loves to tell me about the baby but keeps forgetting his name and mostly uses the pronoun "her" even though she knows he's a boy so we have a lot of these conversations. 

Norah: Her is such a cute baby. What is her name again?

Me: HIS name is Jude.

Norah: I love our wonderful newborn Jude. Her has tiny ears. Her has tiny sounds. But that belly button is dis-gusting. 

Jude: Cries (this happens a lot. He's not the happiest baby I've ever had)

Norah: Looks at Craig

Craig: Is baby Jude crying?

Norah with a matter of fact look: Crying is how babies talk.

An often cranky Jude means we don't have many sibling photos yet but hopefully we will soon. 

Norah: What is dat baby's name?

Me: Jude. 

Norah: Baby Jude is not in your tummy. He just popped out yesterday while I was sleeping.

Me: Yeah, sorta. 

Norah: Pokes my stomach then rubs it. Now your tummy is soft. So so soft. No baby inside. So so very soft. 

Lucy: I don't think your belly looks like you just had a baby at all.

Me: Gives her hug (thinks: You're my new favorite child :-)

Lucy loves that they were both born on their due dates and that he has slightly darker hair like she does. Jonah is so excited to have a brother. That night when Craig prayed, he thanked God for Jude being a healthy baby and Jonah added "and that he's a brother." Norah just thinks he's the perfect baby doll toy she's ever had. They are all being great helpers and fetching my snacks and water and things I need but when I called Craig and asked him to bring me Jude from the baby swing, I heard a "I can do it!" and tiny feet running and let's just say we'll be keeping a sharp eye on the newest big sister around here.

Welcome Norah! - A Birth Story

Men's version: Baby Norah arrived yesterday morning. Mom and baby are doing well. Everyone thinks she's the cutest thing they ever saw. The end.

Women's version: Baby Norah arrived yesterday morning. All along my guess was for her to be born between the 10th and the 15th but the three days of the 10th and beyond were so hard for me mentally. I had things planned for the 13th and 14th just in case but I went to bed on the 12th thinking this might be it. Then I woke up at around 4:30 and said to myself "you are in labor" except I hadn't had a contraction or anything to tell me that (unless one woke me up without my realizing that was what did it). It seemed weird to wake Craig up based on instinct. So I waited. And a few minutes later I had one, not horrible but much stronger than the previous weeks. I still felt weird waking him up so I waited about 10 minutes and once I had a second, I woke him up. Then I wandered aimlessly around the house not knowing what to do but really anxious to do it. After a third, he called our midwife to tell her I thought I was in labor but they weren't as intense or close together as I normally start with so I was unsure. I really have no idea what she told him, I never asked. But after that, they started coming more quickly so a little while later, he called her back and I guess she started on her way then.

I always see these different laboring positions like standing or leaning over a counter but for me, I've got one option. Laying down one my side, breathing through them. If I'm ever in a different position when one starts for some reason, its agony. That's been the case all three times. But this labor was also different in that I needed Craig a lot more. I really wanted him around for Lucy's birth but I didn't want him talking or touching me during a contraction. And he was obviously very important in Jonah's delivery but not as much as a support for me as for a baby catcher. But this time I needed him to be rubbing my back or touching me so I knew he was there. The few times he had to step away I really wanted him back. It's funny to me what things stay the same and what things change each time. Another thing that doesn't change is how protective the cat seems to be of me. She stayed right there even when all the midwives were first coming in and getting things ready. Even now, she's at the foot of the bed. Our little guard cat.

So by the time the midwives (I had two midwives and a student midwife here this time) started arriving I think they were 5-7 minutes apart but not very consistent. They would ask me how I was and I could do was complain about waiting in between the contractions and I think they tried not to laugh because, waiting between contractions is pretty normal, just not what I was used to. But I just wanted to move on to the pushing part and felt like it was taking forever - in reality, it really wasn't.

Lucy woke up around 6am I think but didn't want to leave so she stayed in bed talking to herself for a while. Once Jonah was up, Craig fed them and tried to hustle them out the door to Neighbor J's. I didn't mind them being around at first but as things got more intense, I needed them to be gone. Jonah was still half asleep, cranky and overwhelmed so I actually got out of bed to help Craig put clothes on him. I'm not sure if that was the best idea but I knew that they were slowing me down and I wanted to get things moving. Once they were gone, the midwives were all here and done prepping so they just hung out the in living room quietly while Craig helped me, only checking on me and baby every once in a while but there if I needed them. That's what I seem to like. And the calm and quiet helped me a lot, things got more intense but I felt like I was handling it okay as long as I didn't think about timing. They must have come in around 8am because I promised myself I wouldn't ask the time but I did then.

I had tried to prepare myself for a longer birth the past month or so because I didn't want to get discouraged and even thought it had only been 3.5 hours, this was the first time I had gone so long in labor before transitioning. I didn't have too many classic transition symptoms but I did start shaking a little while after that and I remember telling myself I'd probably have a baby by 9am.

I was still wondering when transition would start when all of a sudden the midwives came in and starting getting things ready for me to push. Honestly, I was a bit confused. Was I that far along? Then I realized, yes I was. The contractions had spaced out considerably. But again, I didn't feel the urge to push yet. I absolutely hated pushing without the urge with Lucy. I just felt lost and started to panic. We waited a bit, she checked me (the first time in the entire pregnancy) and said I didn't have a lip so whenever I wanted to, or didn't want to, they'd just wait on me. I pushed a bit then tried waiting I couldn't find a comfortable position and I wanted to be done but frankly, pushing hurt so that seemed like a bad idea too. Eventually, I had to have a little pep talk with myself. No really. I just told myself the only way out was through so I started pushing. After 2-3 pushes, I could really feel the baby descend and the instinct took over.

My one prayer with Jonah's birth is that I would feel the urge to push - and that certainly happened. My one prayer this time was that I wouldn't tear so I really wanted to try and breathe and relax through the end instead of just getting it over with and paying the price for it with stitches. And the midwives really helped me do that this time but it still wasn't too long before the water broke (first time on it's own, the first two needed breaking by midwife/Craig) and the head was out. At this point I thought I was almost done but I guess she had a bit of a sticky shoulder so all of a sudden I had some help and was moved about but they got the rest of her out too at 8:53 am. I had said before 9am and I guess I meant before 9am! So while it was my longest first stage labor, 4.5 hrs total is still pretty fast I guess.

I was on my hands and knees and they didn't immediately hand her up but after 30 seconds to a minute (timing is hard) they told me she was fine but just need a bit of help clearing out some fluid. Once I got her she was starting to pink up but still a bit raspy so she hung out on me with some oxygen for a bit while I bragged about how I was now three for three with knowing/guessing the gender. Eventually she nursed and I cut the cord. Yep, me! Craig never wants to and I hadn't thought about it but they offered and I thought, well, why not? Since they wanted to hang out with her a bit longer than normal I think, we just took our time getting things cleaned up and everyone checked. They first checked me and not only no stitches but no tears at all. I can already tell that recovery is going to be a lot easier this time around. And Craig's big prayer was that he wouldn't have to do it alone this time so we both got our prayers answered! By 11 am, we finally got around to measuring her - 8lbs, 7 ounces. Our biggest baby by 7 ounces! I was totally surprised by that.

Eventually everyone left and Craig brought the kids down to meet her. Lucy's first reaction was "she's so much littler than I expected!" and Jonah just started a bit confused then told me her name was Norah because Daddy told him before running off to play. He's having a bit of a rough time adjusting to daddy over mommy although he knows the rule is "Miss Alison said momma has to stay in bed" and following it but that doesn't mean he has to like it.

But by the end of the day, he was smitten too. He likes to touch her head with one finger or kiss her cheeks. And keeps saying "I'm the middle now! I'm the middle!" (in an excited way!). Lucy loves everything about having a sister. Norah was hardly awake in their presence yesterday (just all night when I was ready to sleep :-) but this morning they got so excited that they could see her eyes! And she kept turning her head towards them while they were playing and they starting shouting "it's because she recognized our voices, she knows us!" But she doesn't seem all phased by their loudness or Jonah's tantrums. For now, she just sleeps right through them even if they are only a few feet away. All in all, I think she's gonna fit in just fine around here.

Jonah's Birth Story

Let’s start this story a bit earlier in the day. The later times are the few bullet points Craig was able to jot down during the crazy process that was Jonah’s birth.

11am – Midwife appointment. I’m 5 days “late” but baby and I are both doing well so we talk about a few natural induction methods but decide to wait until next Monday to do anything. As we leave, midwife mentions that walking is an easy one without any real side effects so I might try taking a little walk this afternoon since the weather was so nice anyway.

4:00 – After we all take a nice long nap, we go on another 0.8 mile hike. I have a few contractions during the walk but not anything different from the previous 3 weeks.

9:00 – Lucy took a longer nap than usual so bedtime is late but she finally falls asleep.

9:20 - Craig makes some cookies from my freezer dough stash and I get my pajamas on so we can watch Covert Affairs together.

~10:05 – Mid episode, I have my first serious contraction without any warning so I grab his arm. It ends and I go to the bathroom and come back and say “I think that was the real thing” to which he replies “What?” Apparently, he didn’t recognize my arm grabbing as a sign of pain but just thought I wanted him to stop blocking the computer screen. I try to lay down but have another contraction and say I want the show off. He counters with “there’s only 5 minutes left” but the tone in my voice repeating my “suggestion “ to turn it off lets him know I mean it. I’m already freaking out and head to the bathroom again where he finds me sprawled over the sink. I don’t know why I think that is a good place to relax so he gets me back to our room, takes off the top layer of our bed to get down to the labor layer just in time for another contraction. He is trying to time them but I’m not being helpful with letting him know when they stop and start since I’m already overwhelmed and shaking. Then I say “I don’t think I can do this Craig” and he jokes that I it’s only been 10 minutes, I can’t be in transition yet. Oh, if we only knew!

10:25 – He finally gets two contractions recorded, they are ~40 seconds long and about 3 minutes apart.

10:30 - Craig calls our midwife with the update and she says she’s heading right out and then he texts “Neighbor J” to tell her to be on standby and start praying. (She is our Lucy-care but since Lucy is asleep, she’s just going to wait unless we tell her we need her help)

10:40 – I start feeling a lot of pressure. I never felt the urge to push last time so this was new to me, but I knew it meant something.  All those ladies out there who have labored will understand how time doesn’t quite seem to make sense while you’re in labor but I was pretty sure this was fast so I asked Craig when he called the midwife and he said “about 10 minutes ago” and I know that I’m not going to be able to hold off pushing until she gets here. The next contraction, I’m pushing. It’s not a “Oh, I think I feel like push and so now I will” but a “my body is pushing whether I want to or not” kinda thing.

10:45 – Craig sees water bag start to crown. Then the head is out. I’m not having a contraction but there is still a lot of pressure and I’m in pain. The bag hasn’t broken and we aren’t really sure what we’re supposed to do so he calls the midwife to inquire as to her whereabouts and she tells him to break the bag. After this, I feel a lot better and the next contraction, baby comes out with Craig’s assistance. Craig grabs the baby and helps me hold it in a towel but baby only lets out a tiny little meow of a cry and is looking a bit blue. Craig is relaying information to me from the midwife while searching for the snot bulb. I’m rubbing baby’s feet and praying aloud.

Finally, with a little help from Craig and the blue bulb, baby starts to really cry and pink up. And as much as I know that this happens and it isn’t totally unusual for a baby to take a minute to respond, and it really probably was only a minute, there is a huge difference between waiting a minute with a skilled midwife and her expertise, tools and container of oxygen right there and waiting that minute all alone with your husband and baby and I will tell you that it was the longest minute of my life.

But eventually he did cry – and cry – and cry. In fact, he cried for the next 30 minutes. But a pink crying baby is so much better than a blue quiet baby so I didn’t even care.  We finally take a minute to find out baby is a boy!  Midwife (still on the phone) gives Craig a few more instructions then says she’ll see us in a few minutes.

11:00 - Craig helps me get settled and we hang tight then eventually realize we should look at the time and both guess that is has been at least 10 minutes since baby Jonah was born. In case you’ve lost track of time, that’s about 45 minutes between “I think I’m in labor” and “Oh, here’s a baby!” 45 minutes!

While that might sound good on paper, let me assure you that it is not. The only way to describe a 45-minute labor is brutal. Actually, it’s not the only way, but it’s the only way I can do so while avoiding the type of language I do not use.  I do not recommend a 45-minute labor, for a variety of reasons.

11:10 – Midwife arrives (after being pulled over by a cop on the way (she only got a warning)) and Jonah is nice and pink (and still crying :-) and I’m ready to “finish things up” with some cord cutting and third stage stuff right. Then I get prepped for stitches again right as the midwife’s assistant arrives. I was hoping to avoid tearing this time but they weren’t as bad as last time so I only needed three stitches and if you’re gonna have a baby that fast, there is bound to be some collateral damage.  During my stitches, Lucy wakes up and needs to potty but once she sees people, she’s up. She’s not at all interested in the baby but is quite content to sit in the living room and watch her Pooh video despite the commotion in our bedroom.

11:30-1 - Craig makes me French toast and Lucy moves in to eat and watch Pooh on our bed with me and Jonah while everyone else cleans up and fetches me anything I think I could need. Then Jonah gets weighed and measured, the midwives go over some details with us then head out.

1-2:30 – Craig and Jonah are exhausted but Lucy and I are wired up. Finally, I get her to lie down with me in her bed and she falls asleep. I come back to daddy and baby and decide to join them.

While I don’t think this is a birth experience I would like to repeat anytime soon, I also feel like God was definitely watching out for us. I had two big worries about the birth. The first was that Craig was working nights this month and the idea of going into labor without him was very scary. Since nighttime is the more common labor time, it seemed likely this might happen. I tried to tell myself that he could be home in 30 minutes and that should be plenty of time, but it wouldn’t have been. The 20^th was the last of his nights off and the next four nights he would have been away and I can’t even imagine this happening without him. He was pretty much the most awesome labor coach ever. I was completely freaking out but at least my body was doing what it needed to on its own. He had to actually think and act rationally and he did. He seemed really calm to me both while comforting me and talking to our midwife.  And this from the guy who doesn’t even like to be the one to cut the cord!  

My second worry was Lucy and what would be going on with her.  As I mentioned, we had plans with Neighbor J but I still was worried. But when you give birth in under an hour, even a poor sleeper has a good chance of sleeping through it!

And I think it makes a pretty good story, don’t ya think?

Cookie day!

I don't really consider myself a very political person. That is probably not fair to myself as I do think I care more about politics than the average person, but my knowledge of the subject pales in comparison to Craig's and the rest of my family's, so I always feel like I don't know much. They start talking about such and such bill or senator so and so and I get lost.

But there are a few subjects about which I am both passionate and well informed. Midwifery is one such subject. I'm "lucky" in my state, midwives are legal. This hasn't always been the case. And I don't mean decades ago. Back in just 2007, my midwife would have been a felon for delivering Lucy at home. But Friends of Missiouri Midwifes, an organization of which I am a part, played a big role in changing that. Working with other pro-midwifery groups, they changed the law. Certified Profession Midwives can now practice and deliver babies at home.

But that doesn't mean that our job is done. There is currently a bill in the works here that is attempting to regulate midwifery out of legal existence. Basically, it will still be technically legal but there will be so many restrictions, some of which are impossible to follow, that it will takes us back to the dark ages of underground only home births. It's really scary to think about. One specific representative takes it upon himself to start this bill every session and every year so far it has failed, but we need to keep making our presence know so it keeps failing.

So what do a group of passionate women (and men...and kids...and babies) do when they want to make an impact - make cookies! You've probably heard the expression, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Well, you get even more with cookies!

Last Wednesday, a whole bunch of midwife-loving people descended upon our state capital. We handed out valentines with cookies and family pictures, stories of how we love and support our midwives and lots of smiles. My friend and I met with our representative to tell him how important this issue was and encourage him to support midwives too. In the afternoon, we had a rally where we celebrated the achievements we have made in the past on this issue.

This was actually Lucy's first time riding in the stroller. She didn't mind it so much at first...

I went because I thought it was important but honestly, I was nervous about lobbying and the drive was long and the roads were a little snowy and we were going to have two babies with us. I thought about backing out and sending my cookies for someone else to deliver, but I am so glad I didn't.

First of all, it was fun to walk around and see all the different pro-midwife familes from around the state and meet others who are passionate about this issue. This is such a awesome issue in that we really do encompass so many different types of people - from total hippies who were asked to make sure they wore deodorant (yes, they really did ask that in the emails about the event!) to very large conservative families that gave me homeschooling co-op flashbacks to those in-between (me?). Plus, it didn't hurt that the babies were both on their best behavior that day. And even people who may not agree with you on the issue can't help but smile when a baby hands them a bag of cookies. Even scrooge would have a hard time resisting that!



but it wasn't long before she wanted to be worn. And no, neither baby is looking at the camera, but getting babies to look where you want them too when nobody they know is holding the camera is difficult!


But it was more than just an enjoyable day, I got inspired! I really felt like I was a key player is this, that these were my representatives and that I could make a difference. Listening to women speak who have fought for this right for many years, women who had to deliver their babies with midwives underground, hoping and praying that they didn't need to make a transfer and that if they did, their midwife wouldn't be "found out."



 I was honored to stand there with them and applaud them for their efforts. I'm so thankful that I had birthing options and was able to choose a home birth because it was the right option for us. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't legal. To choose between what I feel is the safest birth for me and my child but to risk losing that child to CPS if I'm found out. To ask another women to commit a felony for my sake. I don't ever want to make that choice.  I don't ever want Lucy to have to make that choice. And I'm really glad I live in a country where I can do something to make that a reality.

Finally, some answers

It was never my intention to leave you waiting for answers for so long but we have been having some sleep issues around here and I'm afraid my brain isn't working so well. In fact, this week I had confused my calendar and had not one, not two, but three activities mistakenly scheduled for this week when they should have been next week. It's a really good thing I ran into a friend that happened to be going to those as well or I would have been driving here and there for nothing.

Anyway, on to the questions and answers:

Q) My biggest concern about the homebirth is that I'll be worried about the house (cleanliness, organization, decoration) instead of focusing on labor! In the hospital, I wasn't in charge of anything and I didn't have to wonder if there was going to be enough room. How did you turn off that part of your brain? Does it turn itself off?

A) In my experience, yes it does turn itself off.

When it came to organization, I worried too. Craig could never remember which drawer held onesies and which one held receiving blankets and what would happen if he mixed them up (hint: he'll open one and see the wrong items, then open the other and it will be okay :-) and he is always asking me where things are in the kitchen, what if he can't find something?

Previous to Lucy's birth I would have said I was a very neat person (well, I still am I just have a non self-napping baby so I'm having to let it go). And I did my fair share of nesting before labor but I had actually left a number of things to do to get ready for early labor, thinking as a first time mom I would be putsying around for a couple hours. That didn't happen so Craig had to scramble to put new sheets on the bed, gather up a few supplies we still needed, etc all by himself. I had even planned on cleaning up the bathroom (just wiping counters and stuff) but honestly, none of that mattered one bit. The one thing cleaning/organization I remember perfectly well about labor was when the midwife asked for the crockpot. I knew the answer but also knew I wouldn't be able to say it. But Craig did great with everything, even knowing where the crockpot was. I wouldn't make the mistake of leaving anything again but only because I wanted Craig with me instead of running around. I think most husbands know they have to be on the top of their game and will rise to the occasion.

Also, my midwife had visited the apartment several weeks earlier and seen the bedroom so even though I thought I would be spending time in the bath and on the bed, she knew how to set things up when I decided I like it better on the floor. Now, we didn't have a ton of space there, but I didn't really need it so even though all the homebirths I had read about happened in houses, don't think that apartments don't work too! (We did tell the neighbors that I was close to delivering so not to worry if they heard noises since one of my big worries was that they would hear my yelling and call the cops)

Q) Isn't it messy?

Yes and no. Birth is a bit messy, there is no getting around it. But that doesn't mean you are left with a yucky house afterwards. After the birth, my midwife wanted to hang around for a hour or so to make sure Lucy and I were doing okay and breastfeeding was getting off to a good start. While we napped, she cleaned up. She had put pads down everywhere so there was literally only one drop of blood on my cream-colored carpet and she got that out easily with hydrogen peroxide. By the time she left, the place looked better than when she got there!

And lastly, not really a homebirth question, but still a hippy mamma type one so I thought I'd add it in:

Q) What do you do with Lucy's diapers when you're in a public restroom? You can't really wash them right away like you can at home, so what do you do with the dirty liners?

This is changing. In the past, Lucy has been EBF (exclusively breast fed) and things were easy. All diapers could go straight into a wet bag. A wet bag is a waterproof, zippered bag that is fully washable so when it is emptied, it can go in the wash too. (I have a planet wise and highly recommend it). In a lot of places (on the train, for examples) I think it is actually easier than disposable because it is fully contained, I don't have to find a trash can.

Now that she is starting eat solids, it gets trickier. Wet diapers are the same but the "other" ones are a bit more work although there are options with how you handle that. You can do the old fashioned toilet dunk, buy or make a sprayer, or use flushable liners. I haven't actually done any of those yet, Lucy has only started having "different" diapers the last couple days and I just threw them in with my other ones. I will probably find out this afternoon when I wash them that I shouldn't have done that but I haven't had time (or access to a car) to go out lately. Tomorrow is Lucy's 6 month check up so I have to go to the city and I plan to stop and get some liners to use when we are out and about. They are thin but sturdy so you can pick them up and everything on them up and deposit it right into the toilet and the diaper is then fine to go in the wet bad. We will probably use these at my mom's house as well but tomorrow is our next scheduled Lowe's stop (we have to schedule them or we would go every day!) and I'll be having Craig pick up the supplies to make me a sprayer for the new house. Until we move in there, I'm not quite sure what I'll be doing.

To be honest, I am totally dreading this part of cloth diapers. It probably won't be as bad as I'm imagining but I've been spoiled with my EBF baby.

Questions anyone?

I definitely planned to write this back when Lucy was just a few weeks ago but it wasn't until a couple days ago when I was reading some midwifery materials that I realized I never did! Better late than never, I guess.

When I was pregnant and planning a home birth, I was pretty confident in my midwife and the whole process but I still didn't understand how certain things would work. I just couldn't picture it all. I think that would have been the case no matter what type of birth I was planning but at least I would have known people I could ask if I was going to a hospital.

Now that I've been through it, especially since I know at least one mama who reads this blog and is planning a home birth, I thought I would open myself up to questions. Even if it seems like a weird question to ask, believe me, I probably wondered about it before too so don't be shy. I'll collect them all then post the answers in a couple days.

So if you are preparing for a home birth, interested in birth stories or none of the above but still curious as to what the heck we did with the placenta or why the need for all that hot water, ask away!