Weary

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galations 6:9

That is my verse for the first part of June. I haven't been talking about them all but I felt the need to delve into this one a bit more.

I didn't know what verse to pick when I went to Beth's post but I thought I would read through some of the comments and see if one spoke to me (to be honest, that is how I pick my verses most of the time, that sounds really lazy of me but the other woman always have great verses!)This was the very first verse and I knew it was for me.

Weary. Doesn't everyone have seasons in life where they just feel weary. I'm in one right now. It's tempting to just want to take a nap from life, to pull the proverbial golden string, waking up six months from now with all my problems sorted out. But that won't work. Not only because I'm not a bear so hibernation poses some physical problems, but because I know God wants me right here right now in the very place that he put me. And I know He put me here.

Sometimes you get weary because you are dealing with consequences of your sins. And sometimes you get weary because you are dealing with the consequences of other people's sins. You're somewhere you were never meant to be and you just want out. Well, God can use your weariness to bring you back to him so that you let him get you out.

But other times, you aren't in a bad place because anyone (you or someone else) put you there, your just there, weary, because life is hard. That is what I am in right now. I know I am doing good. I don't mean I'm perfect, but I know that there are a couple things weighing me down right now and in all of those circumstances, I am right with God. I know my heart is with His, I know that I am, at least for this very second, in His will.

Other's may see me and think, well "she's just not doing this, or that is why this is working out, or "she just needs to be content with her circumstances" but I know that God knows the real me and that the real me is "doing good". I'm like Job, wondering where his blessing went and why he isn't reaping the rewards he might have thought were coming.

And to be honest, sometimes I just want to be a toddler and yell "It's not fair" and "but, why!" and sit on my butt and throw a temper tantrum until I get what I want.

But then Holy Spirit kicks in and I remember what I know:

I know that He is God.

I know that I am not.

I know that He loves me and wants the best for me.

I know that He has a plan.

I know that while he invites me to talk to him about anything or even to cry out to him and ask him why, it really isn't my place to have to know why. If he chooses to tell me, now or sometime in the future, what his reasons for all this is, that would be great, if not, that will have to do.

I know that I will eventually reap a harvest. I don't want to be obedient to God because I think I get something out of it but to a certain extant, we as humans can't help that. But the reward I am working for shouldn't be earthly, it needs to be heavenly.

And I love how this verse doesn't say "Don't be weary - because that means you are discontent" or "Don't be weary - because that means you aren't trusting God," no, it's an encouragement, "Don't be weary - God's got something good for you if you can just hang on!"

So for now, I'll be waiting.