This post was actually written Friday night which is why the dates are all weird. Craig is not at a Halloween party at noon on a Monday, that would be weird. Well, I'm back again and I lied, all I have to talk about is Nigel. But my schedule consists of nothing much other than work, sleep, eat, and occasionally vomit. Leave out the work part and I'm basically a baby again. But I haven't done anything fun to talk about so that's what you get and Craig's off at a Halloween party that I don't have the energy to attend and I'm trying to distract myself.
So far I've found prenatal visits a bit anticlimactic. Especially yesterday as we had to wait almost 1.5 hours to be seen. The doc had to go check on someone in the hospital. I can't really complain as that's just how things roll in the ob/gyn department, but then the visit only lasted 20 minutes. Still, it went well.
I had lost less weight than I thought. My scale says I've lost 6 pounds this month but theirs says I only lost two. Since the official one probably cost more than $20 at target, I'm going to trust it. That and it makes me feel better. All my other results looked good so she isn't really worried about the weight loss as long as I maintain (or even better, gain) some pounds before my next appointment in a month.
That by itself made me feel much better. Mommy guilt starts really early and as much as I intellectually know that my morning sickness is a good thing, that it reduces my chances of a miscarriage, and shows that I am providing Nigel with exactly what he needs (a highly hormonal environment), I can't help but feel like I'm starving him. But my doctor seem to think I shouldn't have a problem gaining once the first trimester sickness starts to fade and no matter how many times I read that, it seems more reassuring coming from a professional.
And it case it doesn't seem like I am keeping enough down, she gave me a prescription for anti-nausea meds! I've actually started feeling a
bit better this week and have only been sick 4 times in the last 5 days which is less than I was just over last Saturday and Sunday so hopefully I can avoid taking them all together which would be best but I've very hopefully that one way or the other, the nausea will be ending soon.
Then it was time for the Doppler and the first heartbeat check! Craig and I aren't big fans of routine ultrasounds in general so we didn't get one last time. This time I was far enough along that they could try and hear the heartbeat with a Doppler but I knew going in that it wasn't a sure thing. At this point in time it depends on a lot of mom and baby factors plus a bit of luck. And unfortunately, we couldn't hear anything besides placenta slushing. While I'm glad I've got a placenta, it doesn't really give me any warm fuzzies. :-(
She reassured me that it didn't mean anything bad and I shouldn't worry but that if I wanted to, she could "cheat" and briefly use the ultrasound to find him, then use a more aimed approach to try again with the Doppler. So I caved. It was a real brief ultrasound so we didn't get any pictures printed but we did get to see the little heartbeat pulsing really fast amidst the blob shape that is our baby. Even knowing exactly where he was, she couldn't hear the heartbeat but next time we will for sure be able to hear it and seeing it was good enough for me for now. And that was about it - 2 hours later, we walked out of the doctor's office.
I did want to say one more thing about being pregnant though. You know how when you get sick, everyone seems to have a comment. When someone hears you had the flu, you really just want them to say "Oh, that stinks, I'm glad your feeling better now though" but inevitable you end up listening to the story of how when they had the flu, they were prescribed five different medicines - only after walking 12 miles in the snow to see the doctor. Of course, you smile, nod and say something generic like "Oh, wow" but inside you are thinking to yourself "That doesn't make me feel better, you can stop talking now." I don't mind listening to someone vent about their being sick, I just don't like my illness being one-upped, don't you agree?
Well, at least for me, pregnancy is nothing like that! Because you aren't sick. You've just suddenly turned into a freak. It's true. Overnight, everything about your body and emotions is weird. And it's a bit disconcerting. So it's great to hear about other pregnancies because it reminds you that yes, compared to the general population, you're a freak, but compared to other pregnant women, you're just one in the bunch. So feel free to leave lots of comments, especially if they sound something like "I too was super sick my first trimester and felt like it would never end but then, at about 11 weeks, I felt so much better and the rest of my pregnancy was great and my delivery was really fast and my baby was super easy going." Now if your comment is more along the lines of "I throw up my entire pregnancy and ended up with a emergency c-section and a colicky baby but it was all worth it," well, I won't actually delete your comment, but I might choose to not read it. Okay, I kid, I'll probably read it, I'll just try to forget it as soon as I can. But all that to say, feel free to comment about your experiences!