12.31.2018

Out with the old...

So 2018 was kinda of a crazy year. A hard year but all for good reasons. Mostly, this one


He's what I call "my very best Jude" (I've also got a very best Jonah, a very best Norah and a very best Lucy :-) But I mean, could he be any cuter? I think not. I am looking forward to a little less of a tumultuous year though. Or at least a mom can hope for that, who knows what the year will actually bring. So far, it's looking good. For now, I want to do a bit of a brain dump of how I feel life's been, more for my own sake than for your edification but since blogging is like that, you can come along if you wish.

Parenting:

Okay, to be honest, four kids is kinda feeling like the straw that broke the camels back. I'm still not quite 5 months into it and everyone is alive and clean and healthy so that's good. I'm sure I'll get past these growing pains and be hitting that "Moms of four are less stressed" point these studies keep telling me about. Actually, we just did so much traveling and once that ended, we had the holidays and it wasn't until Thanksgiving that I finally got my progesterone levels straighten out and the post-partum anxiety and depression lifted. When I look back at all the craziness that the last 6 months held, I actually feel like I've done awesome but I'm also I'm just now coming out of the newborn fog, just with 5 months of low energy living/coasting to make up for and trying not to be overwhelmed. I didn't even realize how exhausted I had been until my energy came back. Except it came back right when Jude's 4 month sleep regression started. So I'm more energetic but also sleepy! I'll get there.

I've also hit the point where I almost feel like it's groundhog day but I have to remember that this is a new three year old learning the lessons I've already taught the other two when they were three. Three is - intense. I was looking for some specific information on sleep times and found some quote about how bedtime should be the best part of your day and if it isn't, you're doing something wrong. I wanted to punch that person. But At least 3/4 of my children are potty trained now. That's a good feeling.

We did make some great memories though. As soon as I finish blogging tonight, I'll shift over to my new year's eve tradition of working on my scrapbooks and can relive all the cute sibling interactions and fun times we had as a family.

School:

We kinda just muddled through. And I'm okay with that. Consistency on a day to day basic still makes progress. Lucy and I only finished 2 terms of year 3 but we enjoyed them for the most part. I didn't do an exam post but we did exams and I can tell she's made a lot of progress. We'll take term 3 kinda slow too because year 4 is a big jump but I'm sure we'll be ready for it when it comes. We've had some tweenish growing pains but also the joy of deeper conversations and thoughts emerging and I'm excited to keep going with that and see her start to become more independent in some areas. Although I'm also sad at the idea of not reading everything with her this year. Just another area of motherhood that brings so many mixed emotions.

Jonah is technically in Kindergarten but has made huge leaps in reading and math, the two things we've done formally. I've seen a ton of growth in him and his self-control and ability to listen and sit sorta still. He is six now so we'll be starting Ambleside Online year 1 next week. I'm excited to do it again and see how he does it in his own unique way.

But once we started up school again after Jude arrived, I felt like it was all too frenzied so we took a breather for December. We finished our regular term and then spent most of the month doing advent-y things and more things together. It was delightful. Just what we needed. I've spent some time reading and pondering what needs to change and I'm excited about our new term - starting next week! I hope to come back to blog about soon.

Mother Culture:

Oh, I had a serious lag in this but have picked back up. When I say my progesterone levels were fixed, it was almost instantaneous. And along with that I went from struggling to read and relying mostly on light reading, to all of a sudden feeling like I was starving for good literature and deeper reads. I'm really excited to get back to my Year 7 reading soon.

I didn't reach my goodreads goal but read about 62 and I read a lot of good ones. I have also kept up with the Bible Reading Challenge since September and am on track to finish the entire bible by May. If you follow me on Goodreads, I feel like my rating system is wonky. I'm a product of my culture but a student of classic education so I do a hybrid between rating based on my enjoyment and rating based on my good the book truly is in an extrinsic way.  I think I'd recommend anything 4 stars and above and most 3 stars. Because even if I enjoy a twaddley book, I can't rate it higher than 3. And I can't rate a good classic, even one I didn't particularly like/enjoy, less than a 3. So 4s are pretty safe! But here are a few of my favorites from this year

Non-fiction favorites:

You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit  by James . A. Smith. - I loved this! I'm not sure I like the subtitle though, not because it's really  wrong but because it makes it seem more like a habit building self-help book. It's all about liturgy and even though I know going in that I loved liturgy, this gave me new ideas to ponder. I think I'll try his Desiring the Kingdom soon. From what it's similarly focused but goes deeper.

Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family - Not a practical parenting book which is good. I'm kinda over those right now. This is perspective changing and great. Encouraging and edifying.

Different: The Story of an Outside-The-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him - I don't remember which Sally Clarkson book I read first but I remember being underwhelmed and kinda of disappointed. I think it was me. Every other book of her's I've read since has been just what I needed.

Fiction Favorites: (Not counting any repeats which I did quite of a few of this year)

City Folk and Country Folk by Sofia Khvoshchinskaya

The Baker's Daughter - I read several by D.E. Stevenson books and can't wait to read more.

The Scent of Water by Elizabeth Goudge

Bonus - In this House of Brede by Rumer Godden. I haven't finished it yet but I'm afraid it will get lost in the in between year shuffle. I'm really enjoying it so far.

None of those were my hard classics because while I did enjoy most of those, I preferred good enjoyable cozy books this year.

Health - 

In addition to messing up my hormones, Jude did a number on my body and core and I'm dealing with Diastasic Recti for the first time. Numbers wise it wasn't bad ("just" a two finger gap) but my core was really weak and I was having physial issues because of it. I started the mutu system and am really enjoying moving my body more and have already decreased my back pain significantly. I'm just now getting to the real "exercise" part of it but I've missed being comfortable this past year and am excited to get back to that place. I'm also looking into some different Hashimoto protocols. The issue with me and Hashimotos is that when I'm feeling good, I get complacent and when I have a flare up, I don't have the energy or ability to make any needed changes. Right now, I'm doing really well so now is the time to work on things and get my antibodies lower if possible. Wish me luck!

Elaine recently talked about not just picking a word for the upcoming year but looking back and reflecting. I think my word for 2018 would be survival. I survived a hard hyperemesis pregnancy with a big boy that literally broke my body. I survived post-partum depression even though it felt unending. I survived some other specific and intense craziness that at times brought me to tears. It sounds negative but I really don't mean it that way. I SURVIVED! God brought me to those places and got me through them. Sometimes I felt like I was Moses and Craig and a few close friends were my Aarons and Hurs, lifting my arms up with their prayers. God had given me these tasks to complete but I couldn't have done it without Him and without them. But we did get through it. And I'm so blessed. I really do love my life and all my people and I am excited to see what 2019 brings.

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