But I thought I would give my thoughts on n.i.p so far, especially since I think it is the type of thing I myself will want to read in a year or so when I know and have experienced more.
Before Lucy was born, I was worried how I would handle n.i.p. I knew that I wanted to be an ecological nurser if at all possible and since Craig and I are active people, nursing in public was something I was going to have to get used to.
And philosophically, I was torn. I'm generally a very modest person and have been working hard to allow God to grow me in that area. But like many of the posts in the carnival, I think our country's perception about norms in the area of feeding babies is skewed. It is going to take our willingness to show that breastfeeding is normal to change that and does hiding in a bathroom or only nursing in my car really show that? I wanted to be a proud nursing mom but felt like I would end up a timid nursing mouse and I still wasn't sure where I felt like the line between babies needs and modesty lie. Like I said, I was torn.
So I bought a nursing cover, made a few nursing undershirts and hoped for the best.
Then when Lucy was one week old, we went to see a lactation consultant at a local store. Their sitting area is about 1/3 of the store and while it is in the back, it is by no means hidden. I had been their before and was a bit worried about modesty on the way there but funnily enough, once I got there, it didn't matter at all. I needed help, she was offering help so there I was, no special nursing shirt, no blanket, no hooter hider. It wasn't just that I didn't mind being exposed, it was that I wasn't even thinking about it.
5 weeks later and I've now nursed Lucy in a lot of places.
With a cover in a
- Very crowded Cracker Barrel (Father's day is a bad day to go out to eat)
- Fancy German restaurant (it was actually easier to feed her there than to change her since they lacked a changing station and I had to recruit Windsor to help me make a makeshift one in a handicap stall - stupid German restaurant)
- Church
- Sunday School
- At a car dealership while watching Craig haggle for our new (to us) car
- Le Leche League
- Another nursing group
- Doctor's office
- Midwife's office
- Car at a gas station 5 minutes from home (what can I say, she didn't feel like waiting :-)
- At a car dealership waiting to sign the title
It's not that I don't want to be mindful of others feelings. I do but only to a certain extent. I think the key for me is to feel confident. If someone sees me and I look uncomfortable, they are more likely to feel awkward too, then I feel more awkward, etc. So I say, if you're confident about using a cover, use it. If you are more comfortable without it, leave it at home.
I actually feel uncomfortable with the nursing cover. Not only is it physically uncomfortable but Lucy doesn't like it and it gets hot under there. It also feels like I have a giant sign on me saying, "I'm a nursing mom but I'm being discreet because this is uncomfortable for me."
But that doesn't mean I'm ready to completely go without it either. I need a bit more practice getting things situated and clothing in/out of the right places discreet. But I know I am gaining confidence with each time and as soon as I can ditch the cover, I will. This week Lucy and I will be practicing nursing in a ring sling at home with the hope of mastering it. At least, that's the plan. And hopefully some of the other posts will keep me inspired to fight the fight for breastfeeding.
Interesting post. I guess I've never thought much about the "issues" or philosophy surrounding breastfeeding - it's just what we do.
ReplyDeleteI've never owned a nursing cover but I have used the old "throw the blanket over the baby" trick. And I love button down shirts because you can unbutton from the bottom and baby has easy access but most of your body is still covered. I've also been blessed through the years with specially purchased nursing dresses and shirts but honestly, I ended up thinking they were unnecessary. I've never been completely exposed when nursing in public (and I have never, ever nursed in a restroom - Gross!).
Nursing at the beginning is a challenge because both you and Baby are just figuring it out. Nursing later is a challenge because the bigger they are, the more decided opinion they have about just how exactly this nursing thing is going to go. ;)
I love that you feel that "it's just what we do." I think it was that way when I was growing up, I don't remember ever seeing anyone nurse a baby even though I know my mom breastfeed my younger brother and considering the jumper wearing crowd we often hung out with, I'm sure most of the other moms did too. I think I don't have any memories of that because it was just because it was so common. I don't remember my mom ever changing my brother's diaper either but I'm pretty sure she did that too :-)
ReplyDeleteBut I'm in the first wave of babies with my friends and it seems like many of them were formula fed. They want to breastfeed but are having to change their mindset (and those of their families) as to what normal is.
I think that is one of the reasons I don't like nursing covers and clothes. While it is nice for those who want them to have options, it makes nursing seem like something weird that needs special equipment and clothing and if you aren't willing to use those things you are being inconsiderate and immodest which isn't true.