Crashing

We're home again. I had planned on staying at my parent's from Sunday to Thursday but that was the "pre-surgery, I'm just going for a nice calm visit now that my mom is home" plan and obviously things changed. Since swelling was always my mom's issue and the worst days for that were the 3-5 post surgery, I wanted to wait out those with my family.

But she did great and seems to be recovering really well. "Really well" after major brain surgery still means quite a bit of work for her, especially with speech therapy, but the women in my family like to talk so I know in time she'll get there. Since they had moved her into a private room and out of the ICU, Lucy and I were able to spend some time with her the last few days.

I also had time to spend my little brother which was nice. We picked out his senior pictures and started going over college applications and plans. I have a feeling it will be just as stressful getting him all set up with that as when I did it myself a few years ago. I survived then so I know it will all come together in the end if we persevere but why do they have to make it so complicated? Don't worry about him though, I did let him have some fun too. Now that Lucy is more fun and less fragile looking, Ben seems to be enjoying his role as uncle and does a pretty good job at making her laugh.

But right now, I have to crash. I don't think I even realized how tired I was until I walked into our house. I came in, sat down on the couch and suddenly felt like I was about to collapse. After a dinner of raisin bran and a nice warm bath, I feel better but am still running on low. I think I've been surviving off adrenaline and it's finally leaving my system. When I left home last Sunday, I had no idea what was awaiting me and my family. 8 days and some yelling, crying, sirens, praying, surgery, more crying, hope, more praying, smiling and more prayers later, I'm still trying to catch up emotionally with all that happened. But we are all here, and at least for now, life seems good again. I just have to let my heart believe that.