Ch-ch-ch-changes

Oh my, it's been a spring of changes - and boy am I ready for summer! I'm not really a fan of changes and these have been some big ones. The diet stuff is actually probably one of the smallest but that one's going well. The others are more emotional (not that the lack of bread/flour is always purely physical, especially on certain days of the month :-)

Probably the biggest and hardest change is my leaving La Leche League. I've mentioned here several times that I've worked as a lactation counselor. Reading between the lines you might have known it was for LLL and I've enjoyed this volunteer work immensely but the time has come to say goodbye.

This all started a few months ago when La Leche League International announced a policy change which allows men to apply for leadership. While it might seem to be semantics, this was clearly done to address transgender issues and, as LLL states in its press release, because "the cultural understanding of gender has expanded." Since then I've been talking to my local area leaders as well as members of the international board and like-minded leaders and have come to the conclusion that the organization I have loved is no longer working towards promoting the same philosophy I have and I can no longer support it. I haven't talked about it publicly until now because I was still a leader and wanted to work it out within the organization. I had thought I would want to say more here because this is my normal brain dump space but right now, I'm drained. I'm tired of trying to have reasonable conversations over ridiculous questions. Common sense in these cases just fly out the window in favor of not offending anyone or making an judgements and in the end, its children that suffer. It hurts to watch but right now, I've got nothing left for this conversation and yet sadly, I fear it is just beginning in this country. But the end result is that I've resigned, along with others.

Friday was my last meeting with the wonderful local ladies with whom I've worked. Leaving that meeting, I was walking away from a community I had been a part of since before Lucy was born. It was very hard but also in a way, very good. I had done what I felt like God was asking me to do and I've found in these last few months of doing hard things that God gives you peace when you commit to following him.

That's probably the biggest lesson God has been teaching me. As I said above, leaving LLL was probably the biggest change but it wasn't the only one. For one reason or another, recently I've had to leave several communities or change my role within them which meant that my plans and expectations for the future have also changed. Yet, each time I take the hard steps that I feel God is calling me to, I am left with a peace that passes all understanding.