I've always been one to think about my life in seasons. I think this comes naturally to a military brat, we think of our time not in years but in places and seasons. When tough times come I try to remind myself that this is a season, it comes with certain challenges (and benefits oftentimes too!) but it won't last forever so just keep on going.
I'm an introvert, a INTJ if you are into those types of labels like I am, I know that I need time to myself, time to think, on a daily and weekly basis. And I've found ways to make it happen even when surrounded by little people (naps and outside play time for the win!), but what I've started to realize is that my seasons also tend to go like waves, out and in. Some seasons have me reaching out to others and forming new relationships, ministering to others and overall just being more outwardly focuses. And normally those seasons are followed by one in which I'm focused more on myself and my family, our home, renewing and replenishing our spirits, and just soaking up God. Often times new pregnancies and then the following new baby seems to trigger a change but right now its all these changes. Maybe God didn't think I was listening to my health issues screaming "slow down" so he helped me out a bit. Whatever the reason, God is showing me a different path to take.
And I'm ready for it. I've been thinking of the loss and that is still there but I'm no longer feeling down about having spent time and energy on things that are in the past like I had been. Just because those communities aren't the right place for me now doesn't mean that I was wrong in being there before nor that the time I put into them wasn't used for God's glory.
But God is giving me new opportunities are being put in my life, smaller and less involved and will leave me more breathing room, more space, more margin in my life. New passions and a vision for our family and our home and the family culture that Craig and I want for us and our kids. Slow and deliberate. And with those changes, I hope to have more time for reflecting writing here instead of just "what we did this month" type posts, I miss that.