How to be a Hipster Baby Without even Trying

Hi, it's me Norah. I'm filling in for my mom while she's busying getting back into the swing of things now that the holidays are over. While I've got an audience, I thought I'd talk a bit about how I am able to maintain my hipster baby status. I know the title says "without even trying" but of course what I really mean is how to look like you aren't trying. Because being a hipster is quite a bit of work but trying, well, that's not hipsterish at all.

Watch your background. 

As a baby, its likely that you'll either be in someone's arms or on the floor a large amount of the time. Being held is nice and comfy and I know we are young and vulnerable so its allowable. It's not always cool but it infinitely preferable to being in a swing or bouncy seat. I love my swing as much a the next baby, but its just screams "big box store" so keep it out of the images, okay. The best way to present yourself is on the floor, preferable a hardwood floor. Carpet is not a good idea. If you don't have a hardwood floor, have your parents carry some laminate or even a few pieces of wood image scrapbook paper. Be creative! Now, since hardwood isn't very soft, you'll also need a rug. Handknit wool blankets or cow rugs are suitable choices.  Personally, I love my Ikea sheepskin and take it with me wherever I go. It's one of the few Ikea items I will accept in my life.

Under normal circumstances, Ikea should only be used in an ironic fashion and that's quite hard to pull off so I don't recommend it. Parents seem to love Ikea and the Trofast may have a lot to offer in terms of storage but try to convince them that wooden crates, artfully arrange in a perfectly assymetical pattern on the wall are the superior choice for toy storage.

Use Your Head

Here we have to work within the limits of biology but you still have lots of good options, especially as an older baby that actually has hair. For young hipster ladies, you're aiming for that windblow hair look. Don't try to actually use wind but have your parent arrange your hair so it looks messy and imperfect. Boys should try for a little man look. Undercuts work well as do manbuns once you start to get close to the toddler years. If you're really lucky, in both the amount of hair you were born with and its texture you can try the bedhead look. I don't have much to work with which in some ways makes things easier but I still have to be careful what accessories I allow. Slouchy beanies have been a go-to choice for the hipster baby but you have to make sure the get enough slouchy or you'll look like you just rolled out the hospital. Also, keep on eye on the trends because they seem to be getting close to being too popular. Fedoras, Trapper Hats for the boys and skillfully tied bandanas or turbans and gnomes hats for girls are other choices. And you can't go wrong with a good (organic wool) balaclava.

The pacifier

Now this is a touchy subject but I feel like I have to address it. It used to be that a hipster baby could get away with the mustache paci but no longer. Sadly, its gone mainstream. Now if you really must have a pacifer, and I know some babies like the comfort it offers, a natural rubber one like the natursutten is your best bet. And if you don't like them, feel free to skip altogether. But if you are really aiming high, you should have your parents get you a natursutten and then refuse to use it. Just calmly spit it out and leave it nearby to give you that "I could use a synthetic free italian made pacifier if I choose, but I don't need it, I'm that cool" look. That's what I did and its served me well. And if any of your older siblings seem to forget that they didn't like a pacifier either, just appease them. Take it for a second and then when the look away, spit it out again. Don't worry, they are just three. It's a phase.

I didn't choose the binky free life, the binky free life choose me. 

Well, that's all for this time as its about naptime. (And fyi, naps, as long as they are taken in tula or linen ring sling or on a organic mattress covered in neutral colored bedding, are a great hipster baby activity) I hope this has been helpful and remember, you're only a baby once!

The orange color is borderline but sometimes you just can't help it.

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