Rants about church shopping

Disclaimer: I will be talking about different churches and offering my opinion on some of the things they do. I want to make it clear that while I may be stating my dislike for a particular component of a church, it doesn't mean I think they are not Christian. Sometimes it is purely preference (do you like traditional hymns or praise and worship songs) while other times I think it reflects a real difference in principles and priorities. And while obviously I think my opinion is correct, [if I didn't, it wouldn't be my opinion:-) ] I don't want to imply that some churches are above others. In fact, I often agree more with Catholics and Baptists on certain theological issues than I do with Lutherans (which technically is what I am). And all the churches we visited obviously love God.

We've been "church shopping" lately. I dislike the phrase "church shopping" but not as much as I dislike the activity. I hate the phrase because it seems like you just have to find a church that fits all your needs, but that isn't the point of church and it seems very self centered. But after the last few weeks, it does seem to be the most fitting phrase.

I hate the activity because I always feel so awkward at a new church. And I'm coming from a church that I loved and where I was comfortable. When you get really involved with a church, they end up feeling like your second family and it hurts to leave it. Then I search for a new one and hate them all because they are different and I just "know" that I will never find one I love as much as the one I left. Of course, I always do and then I leave that one and feel the same way about it. But it takes time to build those relationships and I don't always like the transition process.

The first week we went to a Baptist church and the second week we went to a Methodist church that thought it was Pentecostal. The first week was obviously a stretch for us but I knew people there and wanted to give it a try. The second week, I spent most of the service wondering if anyone knew they were supposed to be Methodists, included the pastor who spent the service with his hands in the air. There was laying on of hands, and extemporaneous congregational prayer and a complete lack of liturgy. Now none of those things are necessarily wrong, they just aren't very Methodist. This week we went to a Lutheran Church (Missouri Synod), we liked it much better and we will probably go back next week. I was worried because the church's website called it a "contemporary service" and I have been frustrated with a couple things I keep seeing at contemporary services including:

• Length - Neither of the first two services were under a hour and a half. That is a long time. If there was any liturgy, I would understand a bit more but when the sermon lasts a hour, it gets hard to focus. I don't like to sit in church and not get anything out of it - I really do go to worship and learn. At one of the services, I really liked the topic he chose (it included a Oprah as a bad example, how could I not like that?) but after 30 minutes, I couldn't pay attention any more. It doesn't seem like they are covering more, they just seem repetitive or they give too many examples. I realize this is a complete personal preference thing but as long as it is biblically sound, I'd rather hear 20 minutes of sermonizing with a message I can carry with me and be done with it.

• Stage - Why do so many churches nowadays seem to be set up more like a stage than a sanctuary? Wow, I just used the word "nowadays", I sound like I'm eighty but I am not at church to be entertained by your amazing band (complete with tambourine) or your stunning displays of A/V skills. To be fair, all three churches, including the last one we liked, used a PowerPoint presentation of some kind with the sermon and I did find it helpful but in the third it was still obviously a sanctuary while the first two had stages. When the music started the lights dimmed everywhere except the praise and worship band leaving me with the feeling like they were worshiping and we were supposed to be watching...I want to feel included in the worship. And the second church didn't even have a cross up there! Only some pretty candles and a metal word that said "Pray" and looked like it came from a Pottery Barn catalog.

• Casualness - I think this is a trend in all churches but it seems some types of churches are more prone to it than others. Growing up, I hated dresses and anything fancy (and anything with a tag, and looking back at pictures it seems like anything that matched too) but my parents insisted I look nice on Sundays because I was going to worship God and He deserved my best. Now it seems like you're lucky if 50% of the church is wearing shoes not made of plastic. And I realize that you are always going to have teenagers who try and get away with baggy pants or short skirts and I don't think they should be shunned because of that but if you are going to have a stage, is it too much to ask that those on the stage at least be wearing khaki's, a belt and a non-t-shirt. But it isn't just clothing either, it is a total attitude and casual attitude. In the past three weeks, I have seen people bring in supersized 7-eleven cups of Coke into the sanctuary with them. (Maybe they need that much caffeine to make it through the hour long sermon) Yes, people should be comfortable, but I think real comfort is knowing you are worshiping God with a community of other believers who know you and care about are you and are worshiping God too, not the ability to show up Sunday morning in flip flops with a Coke by your side.

Now I realize these aren't the most important things when searching for a church but I do think, at least on the last two, they reflect an attitude about the purpose and importance of the church. And while writing that kinda made me feel like a senior citizen complaining about the young people of the world, at least I'm not alone.

Oh, and on a less grumpy note, make sure you submit an in idea for my giveaway contest! You only have one more day.