As MacKenzie mentioned below, we have been doing a little housesitting. Along with taking care of the dog, our other duty is to keep the 18-year-old, Roberto (names have been changed), out of trouble. Well, at least keep him from causing any trouble in the house. Elsewhere, he's on his own.

Things went pretty well our first 3 days at the house. We didn't see Roberto much. He had a couple friends over once, but they left shortly after we arrived (we think he's been avoiding us). On Saturday night, we were sitting in the living room with the house to ourselves. Since things were calm, we decided to go to Borders at about 9 pm. We enjoy this activity because we like books, and, if you don't buy anything, it doesn't cost anything.

We were there for about two hours, then we headed back to the house, after a trip through the Burger King drive-thru to get a shake. When we arrived back at the house, there were two cars parked in front, and the basement lights were on. Roberto must have some visitors, we thought.

As we entered the house, someone in the basement called out, "Hello?" I replied, to which the person in the basement said, "Roberto?" I said no. He then said, "I'll be up in a second." At this point, we heard the unmistakable clank-clank of empty aluminum cans. MacKenzie and I gave each other a knowing look, and I headed downstairs to investigate.

When I got downstairs, there was one teenage boy I did not know, and there was a light on in the bathroom. He said, "Are you the guy who's taking care of the dogs?" I said that I was. He said, "Oh, we're just here watching the dog." I looked around, and did not see the dog. Then, another strange teenage boy emerged from the bathroom. As he opened the door, I saw a case of Miller High Life ("The Champagne of Beers") on the counter. As this kid sat down, I asked them were Roberto was. They said they didn't know, and boy #1 tried to call him. As he did this, I asked them, "So, are you guys still drinking?" Boy #2 said, "I'm sober." After a second of contemplation, I went to the bathroom to confiscate the beer. As I did this, I said hello to boy #3, who was hiding behind the bathroom door. Without another word, I took the beer and went upstairs to show MacKenzie my booty. Note that Roberto was nowhere to be found.

After a moment, the three boys came upstairs, and boys 2 and 3 left. In hindsight, I probably should have not let them drive away, or at least should have administered field sobriety tests. But I was kind of flustered by this unexpected development. Boy #1 told me that Roberto wasn't answering his phone. I told him not to worry about it, that we'd find him. He said, "If you see him, tell him Guy called." (Kids, if you get caught drinking, you shouldn't be volunteering your name.) Guy then left, too.

At this point, all I knew was that there were a few empty cans in the case I seized. I decided to go downstairs and look around, and I found more empty cans, and an empty 200 ml bottle of Everclear, in the bathroom shower. Along with the bottle, there were 12 cans consumed out of the 30-pack. This was done by 3-5 boys. At some point, I learned that Roberto had supposedly left with Kareem 30 minutes earlier. I don't know if that is true. I still haven't actually seen Roberto since this whole thing happened. I'm not even sure he was aware of this little soirée. The house was unlocked, so the kids could have just let themselves in. But his mother has been informed, so it's out of my hands.

In hindsight, there are a couple of things I would have done differently:
  • Tried to get a straight answer to where Roberto was, and how this whole party had started.
  • As mentioned above, not let them drive away without determining their fitness to drive. They could have defied me and left, but these kids had that deer-in-the-headlights busted look, so I think they would have listened to me. Plus, I'm intimidating.
Some might say I should have called the police or their parents, but I don't think I'd go that far. Since I have no idea who these kids are, getting the necessary information would have been difficult. Plus, our job was merely to watch the house. Roberto's mom knows what happened, so if she wishes to pursue things, she can. If it were my house, and my kids' friends, then things would be different.

So I'm just sitting here now, enjoying a free beer and telling you this story. How would you have handled this situation?


  1. Wow...

    They were "watching the dog?" LMAO

    I honestly would have handled the situation about the same. Although I probably would have not let them drive home for a few hours. I would have made them sit there on the couch and watch me drink THEIR beer. I am a nazi about letting people not drive after drinking.

    I also wouldn't have called their parents, but would have told the house owners about it.

    Anyways, congrats on your score. Enjoy all the free beer you can get!

  2. I would probably have done exactly what you did, then wished I had gone all COPS on them with the field test.

    By the way, I appreciated the diversity represented by your fake names. It sounded like an elementary school math problem: "If Roberto has two beers, and Kareem has seven, how many would Guy need to bring for Craig to confiscate ten beers?"

  3. lol i love this story!

    the only thing i would have done differently is taken their keys.

    and seriously - LMAO at tina's story problem. ha ha ha.

  4. Taking their keys probably would have been a good idea, but I wouldn't have thought of it in the moment either.

    But this way, you'll be prepared if something like this ever happens with the Craiglets! (The MacKenzielets would never do such a thing.)