I can see why too. If you took a closer look at the minister, it become obvious that he had a heart for singles ministry and was attempting to guide them but the way certain phrases were said to begin with and then taken out of the full context in the article made it seem a bit harsh.
But I think there was more to it than that. We as a culture have seemed to equate busyness with importance. We may not say it in words but how often do our actions say "I am busy and stressed and therefore I must be important". I do not exclude myself from this at all (Hello! Do you remember Friday's post?). So when he said that singles weren't busy, many took that to mean that they weren't valuable when in fact I believe he was trying to say the opposite. They are very important, if they are doing the right things with their time. I am a big fan of marriage but ones singles years can be devoted to God's purposes in a way that no other time of life can be.
Looking back on my years in college, I thought I was super busy. And in some ways I was - I was taking tons of classes so I could graduate in less than 4 years, I worked part time, I was in leadership positions in a Christian Sorority, I was very involved with my church, I was planning a wedding. I thought I had a lot on my plate, but now I know that I wasn't really busy. My job was flexible. So was my study time. If I needed a "personal day" I could pretty much just take it. My life was my own....and I didn't always use it wisely. Yes, all those things listed above look like nice Christian things to do and some of them were very important, some were not as much. There were too many times when I said to myself, I'll do that later, when my life is less crazy.
Then I graduated and got married and realized I was more busy than I was before. My list had less activities on it but they were more important and took a lot more time. I had to work harder to fit things into my life. So when I read that article, I wished I was back in college, I knew I needed it back then. I realized I needed to be less worried about being "busy" and more worried about being intentional. I just looked up busy/busyness in the dictionary to see if I was spelling busyness right (I am but it still bothers me that there is a y in the middle like that) and noticed that one of the definitions is "full of distracting detail." How true is that. When I fill my life with busyness, I often get distracted by details and pulled from the things that God is calling me to do.
Now I'm realizing that I did it again. Opportunities for certain ministries are going away, at least for a while. I was sitting in church a while back and they mentioned a mission trip. I remember thinking how I had always wanted to do something like that and how I should look into it. And I realized I couldn't. It wasn't at all feasible for this time of my life.
There is a certain organization/ministry that I have felt called to volunteer with for a while now. In college I wanted to but convinced myself I was too busy and I didn't have a car so it wasn't the right time. Then I got a car but I only had a few semesters left and was trying to plan a wedding, it wasn't the right time. Then I moved to Utah and I even saw an advertisement in the paper asking for volunteers....but it wasn't the right time, or at least that is what I told Craig when he asked me about it, knowing I had been interested before. Then some things happened in my life and it truly wasn't the right time, it would have been unwise of me to work there.
And it hit me - I had said no to God. He had clearly told me this is what he wanted me to do, I didn't do it and it is too late to go back now. I'm like the Israelites, I made the wrong decision when God told me where to go. Once God had said "start wandering" they couldn't just change there mind and enter the promised land. They tried that, it didn't work so well. I can still contribute to that organization financially or through smaller ways but it will be at least a few years before I may even be at the point where I can donate my time the way I had originally hoped to.
I don't want this to seem like a "poor me" post because that is not at all how I mean it. I know that life is full of seasons and I am moving into a new one that will bring new opportunities and ministries and I am excited about that. I want to be fully present for what God is calling me to do today, not worrying about the past.
But neither do I want to miss the lesson. It hurts me to know that there were things I could have been doing to further the kingdom of God that I didn't do because of my laziness or false busyness. I want to move forward and be more intentional with my time. It's going to take me a while to figure out just how to be scheduled and organized enough that I am intentional using my time wisely, but not allowing myself to get caught up with feeling busy and important but I'll keep trying.
To end this, I think I'll leave you with a little song.
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