8.24.2025

James' birth story

It's been a while but this got too lengthy for instagram and it's nice to have this one in the same spot as the others. I re-read my previous birth stories while I was pregnant and I had forgotten so many details. I'm glad they are recorded somewhere because apparently my memory can't store them...


Birth Story time! I normally try and get the birth story done right away before I start to forget details but I guess with kid #5 I should be glad I’m getting it written down at all. And luckily, it was a pretty uneventful birth - except for the wonderful baby we got at the end part. 


None of my previous children have come before their due date so mentally I was trying to aim for August 3rd or later. That said, I really did think my official due date was a bit later than my real due date based on what I knew about my body plus my first very early ultrasound matching that. I had my first ultrasound at only 6 weeks. I know a lot of obs won’t even see a mom that early but with my history of hyperemesis gravidarum, I get to be seen asap so I can get all the drugs to keep me hydrated and alive. This pregnancy was actually my worst for hg and I ended up taking 3 different hg meds until all the way to my third trimester and I never did get off zofran. But I digress. 


Anyway, the kids really hoped for a baby on August 3rd or before so we could maintain the multiples of 3 situation they love (Jude’s 7th birthday was August 4th at which he point he would be seven and not fit with the 15, 12, 9 and 0 of the others). And I was really hoping for a July baby because as much as Jude said he didn’t mind sharing his birthday/birth week with the baby, I did want them to have a bit of spacing just for very practical purposes. But I wasn’t confident that would happen. And I did not want to be sitting around all of July wishing I wasn’t pregnant anymore. 


So I filled up our summer! The very end of June we drove to North Dakota for a family reunion/hometown birthday celebration. Had I known the baby would have come as early as he did, I don’t think I would have gambled with that trip but I am glad we made it so I guess it's good I didn’t know! I had already started having a good deal of Braxton Hicks contractions, especially when in the car or out in the heat but that's not that unusual for me. 


The rest of July was filled with VBS and day camps for the kids with the last week of the month left open for resting and last minute nesting. On Monday the 21st, all 3 big kids had camps in the city so instead of spending 4 hours driving home between all the drop offs and pickups, Jude and I went to the Science Museum and had a mom-son date. I had planned to do something similar on Wednesday at the Magic House (a children’s museum) but Tuesday night I changed my plans as I was feeling pretty tired.    


So Wednesday, at 38 weeks and 3 days, one of the hottest days of the summer (heat index 111 - yuck!), I dropped Jonah and Norah off at art camp 45 minutes from the house and headed home. On the drive home I had 2 contractions. They were very noticeable but the car had been triggering contractions all the way back in June so I didn’t think too much of it and still stopped off at Aldi for 2 things…that turned into 12 things, then I had another contraction in the freezer section and decided I needed to go home, get out of the heat and put my feet up. Luckily Lucy was around and keeping an eye on Jude so I was able to lie down and as soon as I did, no more contractions. I got up a bit later to get the kids from camp and had another contraction or two on that drive so by the time I got home, I texted Craig and told him that he needed to plan to take the kids to camp the next day. I specifically said in that text that I didn’t think we were going to have a baby today but I was done driving more than 10 minutes anywhere. Then I managed to make dinner with only one more contraction. 


After dinner, I still just felt very antsy so I took a bath then Marco Polo’ed a friend to ask her to pray since I was feeling anxious and tired and did not think I could do this for another week or two. Right after that, 8 pm (the only real times I had were the things I did on my phone like calls and MPs) I had some “show” so I went and told Craig that maybe I was wrong about not having a baby tonight. I felt a bit silly calling the midwife to say I had only had 6-7 contractions over the last 10 hours and none in the last 2 hours or so  (hardly the 5-1-1 rule you’d find in a pregnancy book :-) but I just felt like I was going to go into labor soon and I have a strong history of precipitous labor and we all knew I was really not to dawdle with the updates this time around. My main midwife was supposed to be out of town so I texted her partner just to give her an update and have her on standby but it turned out that my midwife wasn’t able to leave as planned so she gave me a call (8:20). She offered to come but I told her to give me a bit more time but I’d let her know. I think she prepared to come pretty quickly anyway. After I hung up, things started. A little after 9, I told Craig to call her back as they were coming every 5-7 minutes now…


So now it was clear I was in labor but I could not get comfortable. Jude’s birth was pretty much pain free and I had really hoped to replicate that but I just could not find a position where I could comfortably relax. Finally I went upstairs to the living room. It was hotter up there but Craig put all the fans on me and I was able to rest on the couch with the lights dim and relax. The boys were already in bed but the girls said good night and I told Lucy I thought we might have a baby before morning so she wished me good luck.


 Time gets fuzzy here but I do remember Craig accidently turning up the living room light when he meant to turn on the porch light for the midwife and I started yelling “turn it off, turn in off!” while he scrambled to dim them again. But other than that, I was finally in my laboring groove but also starting to feel a bit pushy. Not anything I couldn’t relax through but definitely something. I had started timing my contractions with an app originally but it kept resetting which annoyed me so I gave up on that which meant I had really no idea what time it was or how long I’d been laboring or anything. 


My midwife arrived (about 10pm) and I could tell she was waiting for a break in contractions to talk to me - and I was waiting for a break to respond but everytime I thought one was ending, another started and it was then I realized “Hey, I’m in transition!” which was nice because I didn’t feel as nearly out of a control/done with labor as I often do at that point. I finally got a break and we talked up whether to move downstairs to my nice prepared bed and all the birth supplies we had arranged down there but I knew the stairs were not going to happen at this point so she and Craig quickly brought everything up and her partner arrived. I like to push on my hands and knees so it really didn’t matter whether I was on a soft bed or not. I started to push and I heard and felt my water break. A few more pushes and his head was out. He came out with his one hand up by his face and with a sticky shoulder just like Jude but the midwives got me to change positions a bit and helped work him out. At 10:29, we had a baby! (That woud be 2 hours and 20 minutes from my first midwife text when I told her that I wasn’t in labor but thought I might be soon!) They passed him up to me and I checked for his gender and the first thing I said was “Oh, I was wrong!” Every other birth, I very strongly suspected a specific gender and was right. This time, I was much less sure but still leaned girl just because of how sick I was (and I had been sicker with the girls than the boys up until now). But the last week or two of pregnancy, I was really bothered that we didn’t have a boy’s name decided on - a few strong contenders but nothing official. Maybe that should have been a sign! 


He whined a bit but didn’t give a good yell right away so the midwife gave him some taps on his back and chest and when he did give a good cry, the girls both popped their heads round the door and we told them they could come meet their brother. Apparently at some point during all this Jude also woke up and went to the bathroom. Craig thought he might notice the commotion but I guess he didn’t because he went back to bed without a word and I didn’t even know he had gotten up. 


A few minutes later Jonah came up too (I guess Craig had told him what was happening when he checked on him earlier in the evening). Then they all headed off to bed. We spent the golden hour up on the couch. Craig made me french toast (the first meal after giving birth is always the best and this one more so because I was finally free of nausea!). I cut the cord and then we all headed downstairs to the nice comfy bed where the midwives did his first check-up and weighed and measured hi - 9 lbs 13 oz. Not my biggest baby but he was also born 11 days earlier than Jude so he might very well have beat him had he stayed put longer but I’m also quite happy that he did not do so. gg


Eventually the midwives cleaned up everything and headed out (people always ask about “the mess” but its really a non issue - even when you give birth on your living room floor). Craig and I finally decided between the names James and Calvin - kinda. We picked both but with James first. I love both names so the decision was really about whether we wanted to mix it up with the J theme. It was never our intention to have a J theme for our boys and actually when we first started thinking up names we were specifically looking for a different letter but then I read a list of biblical boy names and I read out James and both Craig and I were “oh, I like that…wait, that’s a J name!” But in the end, we decided we didn’t want to leave him out. I call him Jamie, Craig calls him James and the kids are divided. I still think I’m going to have to find him a cute tiger as a lovey to go with the Calvin middle name though. 


About 2am, James and Craig were sleeping. I was running on adrenaline and there was zero chance of my actually falling asleep but I rested in bed enjoying the cuteness next to me when Jude came down to tell us something but we never even got to hear what it was because he saw the baby. And was shocked! It was really funny. After his meet and greet, he headed back to bed, I finally got some sleep and our new life as a family of 7 began!





12.31.2022

2022 Books...and that's a wrap!

I actually did three reading challenges this year, The Back to the Classics Challenge, The Schole Sisters 5x5 and the Literary Life Podcast 22 Challenge. I thoroughly enjoyed each one. 

I wasn't sure if I'd actually finish the Literary Life Podcast in time but I managed to wrap up Julius Caesar two days ago (finished the last 2 acts without the kids. It was fine but I'm still happy with my decision to let it go for them and start afresh next term with A Winter's Tale)

My standouts from the Literary Life were...

Both Biographies. For "Someone Dead" I did 24 days of Queen Victoria as an audio and really enjoyed it. I'd like to read a few more of her to get a more complete picture but it was a good start to complement what I know from history books and BBC shows. My "Someone Living" was really hard to choose but I also did that as an audio, The Boys: A Memoir of Hollywood and Family, which I really liked. I didn't really know much about either Howard other than Ron was on Andy Griffith and directed now. It was just really interesting and the way they talked about their parents and owned up to their own decisions and experiences was quite refreshing. I want to read more biographies this year as well.
 
Also the essays. Essays and short stories are not my normal thing and I don't think they ever will be but I really enjoyed a couple of EB White's a lot. I might continue to put my toe in the world of Essays water so feel free to offer ideas for essays to read. 

I also really liked the Favorite Author of a Favorite Author catagory. Not because either of my picks will be etched in my heart forever but both were books I had wanted to read for a while and needed a push for. Lilith I already blogged about was the first and for the second I picked Romance of the Forest - it was not great. Sorta ridiculous but really does give a great sense of what a Gothic novel was like so you can truly appreciate Northanger Abbey all the more! Which is why I picked it and I don't regret it. 

For the Schole Sister 5x5 challenge, you get to pick your own catagories. I chose

Theology

Classic Re-reads

Inklings (by or about)

Parenting/Education

Literary Life Podcast

Pre-reads

Now, you might notice that's 6 categories. I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish all of them so I added the pre-reads but I ended up reading at least 6 in each category. So technically I did a 6x6 challenge!

Of coures all my re-reads were great or I wouldn't have re-read them and you can't go wrong with the inklings. Beyond finishing the Fellowship of the Rings, re-reading Lewis' Space Trilogy and several Chronicles of Narnia (along with Lucy in her House of Humane Letters class), I also read a A Hobbit, A Wardrobe and a Great War which was good but maybe not quite what I expected or wanted. I do hope to get my hands on The Medieval Mind of C.S. Lewis this year. 

For parenting/education, I really liked Habits of the Household by Justin Earley although I'd recommend The Common Rule by the same author first as I think they build on each other. I read both this year and probably will re-read at least The Common Rule this year but honestly probably both! His children are still a bit on the younger side so I really hope he updates this book in 10-15 years! (For future generations of course, in 15 years, I won't have anybody under 18 in my house anymore unless something changes...keep moving before I start to cry!)

Now Theology was just my standout category. Everything was just so good. I put The Common Rule which I talked about above in this category. The Way of the Pilgrim was really different than anything I've read before but really good. As was The Jesus Prayer. Continuing my mini Orthodox reading kick I went with Hank Hanegraaff's Truth Matters, Life Matters More which I really enjoyed. 

Now Simply Trinity, this was hard to rate. I only gave this 3 stars but that was really the average of parts of the book which were 5 stars and incredible and other parts that not. A lot of calling out of people who he insisted were way off base with their theology and posing a huge danger to the Christian community but I have never heard of and didn't really care to hear rants about. That part got old pretty fast. But the first part where he lays out what he DOES believe about he Trinity was really good. 

But probably my top book for Theology this year was Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace and the Gifts of a Dark Place...so so good! If you struggle with your mental health at all, you should read this. It presents such a solid biblical understanding of struggle and darkness and who we are and who God and his role in getting us through hard times. The World does such a horrible job at understanding suffering which is to be expected but and sadly a lot of Christian resources make different but equally damaging mistakes as well.  Even if you don't struggle with mental health (yay for you!). you should still read this. I really need to get a hard copy so I can sufficiently mark it up next time I read it. 

Of coures, I read a lot of books that weren't in a challenge of any kind. In fact, I'm finishing up the year with 142 reads (several titles were left off my privacy, mostly my children's) which is my best year in a decade. So I thought I'd just list a few more of my favorites from this year. Now these top lists aren't in order or super planned out. I literally just went chronologically through my Goodreads list and when my first response to seeing a title was "Oh, that was a good one!" and I hadn't already mentioned it, then I wrote it down here. 

Top Non-fiction

Visual Thinking by Temple Grandin...I'm the exact opposite of a Visual Thinker in the fact that I can barely visualize anything. But it was so interesting to here her point of view and her way of writing and organizing information is so attention-keeping. I felt like every chapter was almost its own book which meant it always felt fresh. 

Summa Domestic Vol 1 - I gave this whole three volume set to my (recently converted to Catholicism) brother and his wife for a wedding present without even having read it because I knew it would be good. I'm savoring it so I'm about to finish Vol 2 but its great. 

The Nocturnal Brain - Not what I expected at first, it's case studies of patience where things have gone wrong in the sleep department and the lessons we learn about the brain and sleep from them. Very interesting. I did it as an audiobook as I cleaned our old house for move out inspection so those things are oddly linked in my brain. So hours of cleaning later (did I mentioned our old house was 4000+ square feet with beautiful (read - dusty holding) moldings and trim, spindled railings and 4.5 bathrooms), I have to fight not to hold it against this book because it really is good and shouldn't be blamed for my post-cleaning backpain. 

The Art of the English Murder - I always really like Lucy Worsley, on tv or in book form. I actually had tickets for Craig and I to go see her give a lecture on Agatha Christie this fall but 2 days before then both my ear drums burst causing some other medical issues which landed me on bedrest for several days. I optimist told the babysitter to keep us penciled for about a day before I gave up and admitted defeat. I'm still bitter at my body. Perhaps I should sooth the ache by buying her book about Christie instead. 


Top Fiction

Dracula - read it with the Lit Life and loved it. 

Beauty - Short re-telling of Beauty and the Beast but my first taste of Robin McKinley. And now I know why her name shows up in my circles. 

Troubled Blood - well, the whole Strike series. I'd tried twice to get into this series but a third time is a charm. The first is not the best so plod through it if need be because they are only getting better and the last few were amazing. I actually bought this one (in HARDBACK no less!) and I rarely buy non-school books but I heard the formatting (for actually story reasons) really needed a physical copy to be appreciated and I don't even regret it taking up room on my bedroom bookcase. 

Wingfeather Series - They aren't the easiest to read-aloud (so many fun made up words which trip my up to no end!) and we read the first last year and took a break then restarted but about half way through the second book, there was no break-taking aloud. Three big kids and I all really got into it although my kids actually are big visualizers and the youtube show is causing drama because things aren't how they pictured so verdict is still out whether we will be able to finish that! (It's good quality so far so that's not to say you shouldn't try it! Just that my kids are easily offended when their book visions get messed with if they truly love the books. Watching Harry Potter with them is a lesson  in fortitude and longsuffering - for me!) 

Bess Street Aldrich books - Both a Lantarn in Her Hand and the lighter but still sweet The Cutters were top favorites of the year so I'm mentioning them again even thought I've already blogged about them. 

What's next? I plan to do most if not all of these Challenges again this year but I haven't let myself pick books until I typed this up. I've got a couple books in progress but I'm super excited about starting a new year of books. I may or may not beat this years record but I can at least try!

12.27.2022

Back to the classics wrap-up

Another year down! This year was unusual in that I had no problems getting all the books read quite early on in the year but I didn't do a good job writing about them in a timely manner. On well, I got it done in the end. This was actually a fabulous reading year for me so I'll be back with a full end of year wrap up soon that includes my favorite reads and the other challenges I've done but here are my Back to the Classic Reads. Overall, they were top notch. It's hard to believe I've been doing this Challenge for 7 years but its such a good one! Its flexible but definitely encourages me to try books I might not otherwise get to and I love getting ideas from everyone else. 

1. A 19th century classic.  Lilith 

2. A 20th century classic. 
Mrs 'Arris goes to Paris

3. A classic by a woman author. Ruth

4. A classic in translation.  The Way of the Pilgrim

5. A classic by BIPOC author. To Sir, with Love

6. Mystery/Detective/Crime classic. The Franchise Affair

7. A classic short story collection.  The Wild Muir

8. Pre-1800 classic. A Mid-summer Night's Dream

9. A nonfiction classic. Six Easy Pieces

10. Classic that's been on your TBR list the longest.  The Fellowship of the Ring

11. Classic set in a place you'd like to visit. The Enchanted April

12. Wild card classic. The Cutters by Bess Streeter Aldrich


Email contant: brcbanter [AT] googlegroups.com


12.26.2022

Classic Challenge: A Mid-summer night's dream

You can't go wrong with Shakespeare can you? Well, maybe you can. I read this at the beginning of the year but wasn't planning on having it count for this challenge because I thought I would finish Julius Caesar with the kids this fall. Well, we didn't quite get there. Once we got past Mark Antony's big speech in Act 3, we lost steam.  Turns out its not his best play and waiting for people to die isn't super exciting. 

So back to A Mid-summer Night's dream it is! I really do prefer the comedies. (Although Lucy and I really enjoyed MacBeth together last year and Hamlet is a favorite...but other than that, I'm a comedy gal). 

I've read this before but it had been a while and it felt new all over again. The kids love it and we've watched it together in stage form and read children's versions so I enjoyed reading it after having experienced it with them because I felt like I could descend to the bawdiness and lower level humor. Bottom is an ass...it's funny. 

I also really enjoyed going a bit deeper with the literary life podcast. I alwasys feel like reading something with them is the equivalent to reading it 4-5 times solo. I really hope they decide to do Much Ado about Nothing sometime. 

A Mid-summer night's dream is my pre-1800 Classic selection. 

Classics Challenge: The Wild Muir

Being involved in the Charlotte Mason and nature study world, I had heard the name John Muir quite a bit for years but I didn't really know much about him until I picked up this book to pre-read for Lucy's school year. The Wild Muir is a compilation of 22 short stories of his adventures in his own words. And he does have some adventures in nature. Short stories aren't my favorite in general and these varied, some were great and some dragged a bit but overall a good collection. I'm curious to see what Lucy thinks of it this spring. 

The Wild Muir is my Classic Short Stories category selection. This specific compilation was published in 1994 but all the stories were written by Muir himself and he died in 1914 so I'm pretty sure this still works for the Challenge.