Feeling yucky

I'm getting sick. I can feel it sweeping over my like ...something....really bad. I am so awful at similes :-( Anyway, I'm getting sick and I don't have time to be sick this weekend. In a few minutes, Craig will be picking me up so we can drive a U-haul over to our storage shed, load it and all our other crap us so early tomorrow morning it can be unloaded into our new apartment! Yah for new apartments, boo for feeling stuffed up and tired when I need to have lots of energy.

Do you believe in all those cold stopper/shortener drugs like Zicam or Airborne? Have you had any success with them? I haven't used them but I don't really think I believe that they will help. Which stinks cause if I did, I would at least have the placebo affect working for me. No, with all my pessimism, I got nothing.

And I don't think I could use Airborne on principle. I HATE HATE HATE how the front says "Created by a teacher" - how is that supposed to make me feel more confident in it's scientific validity? No, it's like a zit cream that says "Created by a dentist" - except that a least a dentist would have at least been pre-med as an undergrad whereas I'm pretty sure most teachers didn't ever have to take Biochem or Physiology. No sir. Now, I'm not hatin' on teachers, I just don't think the fact that they spend their days around a bunch of germy kids means that their germ defending product will work. If they wants me to buy their product, the slogan needs to be changed to - thought up by a teacher, analyzed by a doctor...maybe it could be a tad catchier, but the doctor part - that is important!

And I don't think I like the idea of Zicam because I don't want to stick anything up my nose. Except my fingers - just kidding! But really, I have no reason to imagine sticking a swab in my nose as being anything but uncomfortable and gross. Craig did say they have non-nose forms and he has a coupon so maybe I will try it. Maybe. But only because I have to get our new place set up so we can pick out our Christmas tree. My impatience on the holiday decorating is getting thinner by the second.

Thanks for Nothing

Mitt Romney doesn't really want to be known as "the Mormon candidate." So I imagine he doesn't really like it when people write letters to the editor like this. Some excerpts:

THE FAMILY is the very foundation of this country. If you have good and wholesome families you have a good country. Mitt Romney belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), sometimes called “Mormons.” The most important program of this church centers around the “family,” with an expression “You teach correct principles to the family and they govern themselves.” Love and harmony make a happy home. Disharmony and hate break up the home and cause divorce.

RELIGION is important in every life. “Mormons” claim all have the right of individual worship. Mitt is religious; past president of Massachusetts Stake (diocese) of 5,400.

AMBASSADORS: Romney will have access of hundreds of returned foreign missionaries who are fluent with foreign languages and customs to friendship countries.

The Storm Troopers Are Coming

I saw these guys on the Valley Channel today. They were in full costume and everything. They are the Alpine Garrison, the regional chapter of the 501st Legion, the "premier Star Wars costuming group in the World." They're going to be at Magical Moon Toys on Saturday. Go check them out.

My weird subconscious

It's really amazing how much you do without thinking about it. Like the time I gave up sarcasm for lent, it was awful. I had no idea how often I was sarcastic until those 40 days. People even asked me if I was okay or if I was mad at them because I was being awfully quiet and I had to explain that I was wasn't upset or mad, but every other time I thought of something to say, I would then realize I couldn't say it and by the time I had done all that thinking, to say anything would just seem out of place or really lame.

That happened to me again this week, well, not being sarcastic, but suddenly realizing I do something more than I think I do. If you had asked me on Monday if I crossed my legs a lot when I sat, I would have said no. At home, when I have to sit down in a chair, I resort to a couple of odd poses, my legs underneath me or to the sides, or my knees out in front, or one leg up and one underneath...pretty much any method that is NOT listed in Ms. Manners but never "normally."

But on Tuesday night, I practically killed myself running into this metal shelf thing at work. Luckily, I did not die - but I did give myself a huge bruise right about where one leg rests on the other if you are crossing your legs. Then yesterday, it seemed like every 5 minutes, I would cross my legs without thinking about it until my right leg came in contact with my left and I would feel this sharp pain, which would be followed by a high pitched yelp. I guess my work-self had learned to be a little more normal in it's sitting style. It is a good thing that no one else in my office was in much that day or they would have begun to think I had mental issues. I kept trying to tell myself, don't cross your legs, it hurts! But my body just kept doing it on its own. I even tried crossing my legs the other way to trick my legs but apparently the right one doesn't like to be on top. Today, I'm doing a bit better. I'm not sure if that is because the bruise is beginning to heal and doesn't hurt as much or because I haven't spent much time sitting down all morning but I am going to ignore those possible reasons and believe it is because I am not stupid and am learning.

At this point, I would ask if any of you have weird things you do without realizing it, but you probably don't know them since you do them with realizing it! Unless you had this weird habit of tapping your fingers and couldn't stop even though you developed carpal tunnel syndrome. If that is the case, I would love to hear about it.

Tase Him, Bro

I kind of like watching people get tased. Here's a video of someone from Popular Mechanics testing the effects of a model called the C2, which shoots CO2-propelled barbs, allowing the tasing to be done from a distance. It doesn't look so bad. I'd probably let them tase me for, say, $75. How much money would you require?

This story also discusses the idea, promulgated by the UN, that tasing constitutes torture. They make the valid point that the alternatives for a criminal, namely being shot or whacked with a baton, are much worse, and that the UN should find something else to worry about. Being the UN, of course, it won't actually do anything, so we needn't be too worried.

Down With Huckabee

The increasing popularity of Mike Huckabee, GOP presidential candidate, in Iowa has me concerned. I'm not too worried that he'll get the nomination, but I am afraid he'll get chosen to run for VP.

You see, Huckabee is not a conservative. While he may be on the right side of abortion and gun control, that's about it. He's into taxes, spending, open borders, and global warming. Robert Novak explains this in great detail, and Michelle Malkin covers the open-borders topic. Wake up, Iowa!

It's official - I'm a Lutheran!

This was supposed to be posted Sunday, which would make the whole thanksgiving part a tad more relevant, but I got busy so here it is on the Tuesday after the Sunday after thanksgiving.

These past few months, Craig and I have been spending our Sunday afternoons at our church, learning all about what it means to be a Christian, a Lutheran, and part of our specific congregation. Today we made it official by getting confirmed and becoming members.

Craig had been confirmed before (with the Methodists) so his was more of a reaffirmation of faith and joining of this congregation but I was baptized as a baby and had never gone through confirmation so it was really special to me to make my first public declaration of my faith. Well, actually, I would hope that every day my life is a public declaration of my faith, but there is something special about standing up in front of people and saying "this is what I believe, this is who I am, and this is who I am putting my trust in." In public situations, I'm not typically very outwardly emotional so I wasn't surprised when I didn't cry like some of the others in our class did, but I was more moved than I had anticipated.

I really liked that it was the Sunday of Thanksgiving too because while I was up there, I was really thankful. Thankful for a God that isn't happy just to save me, but who wants to have an intimate relationship with me. Thankful for the people in my church that God has placed there to lift me up, and those God has allowed me to encourage. Thankful for all the blessings He has given to me, especially my husband, my family, and my friends.

But I am most thankful for his first gift. My confirmation verses sum it up better than I could:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-6

College Football Makes No Sense

Let's try to get this straight:

• Kansas, the #2 team, lost to the #4 team, and so they drop to...#5?
• Kansas is behind Georgia (#4), who has two losses, including one to...
• Tennessee, who won the SEC East (ahead of Georgia), but is #14?
• Ohio State (#3), whose one loss was to an unranked team, is ahead of aforementioned Kansas, whose one loss was to the #4 (now #1) team?
• Virginia Tech (#6) is ahead of LSU (#7) even though they both have two losses and LSU beat Va. Tech?

This whole idea that a late-season loss is worse than an earlier-season loss makes no sense. Neither does Division I-A college football, for that matter.

Genius - Really?

Wow, I never would have expected that. And I even checked some other blogs and it doesn't seem like Genius is that common. It's totally due to Craig. If I had a blog by myself, it would probably be more like Junior High or Elementary level. But now I feel all this pressure to use big words and check my spelling, yuck. What is your level?

Our First Thanksgiving!

After spending the last two days recovering (napping) from Thanksgiving, I think I am finally ready to enter the blog world again. It was our first Thanksgiving as a married couple and I think it went well. We went over to the home of our friends S. and C.

C works at the university with foreign students and along with us, they invited some of her students over to show them what an American Thanksgiving was like. They ended up being 20 of us in their house, which I found to be quite enjoyable. Even when you don't know a lot of the people you are celebrating with, it is always nice to be in a bustling house on holidays and it was fun to watch people experience the joys of holiday casseroles for the first time. Most of my favorite Thanksgiving memories are from times when there were a bunch of people around.

Since we went over the their place, we ended up only having to make a couple things, a turkey (we both made turkeys so there would be plenty), bread, and dessert. It was the first turkey either Craig or I had made and I was really nervous that we would ruin it, but after 2 phone calls to my mom and 3.5 hours, it turned out great! We brined it and cooked it on the turkey cannon Craig won a while back with some beer inside and it was so moist. The only problem is, I don't know whether the amazing moistness was due to the brining or the cannon/beer. Next year, if I only brine it, will it not be the same? That would be very sad. But I would really like to try some different brine. The one we used was only salt and water, but I have seen a lot of good recipes I would like to try. But either way, this year, it was very good. So without further ado - here it is.
Isn't it pretty? Craig sure thought it looked tasty...
... and he was right. Okay, okay, I'll stop talking about our delicious turkey because I'm sure you all had tasty turkey too, it's just I'm so very proud of our mad turkey cooking skills.

Craig made the bread. And for the record, he picked this pose, although I'm pretty sure that isn't coming as a shock to any of you.And for dessert, which is really my favorite part of Thanksgiving, I made the pies just like my mom always does - two pumpkin and one apple. I also made her cranberry bars because I was afraid there would be no dessert leftovers and I need a piece of pumpkin pie for breakfast the next day. Without it, I don't think I could survive. I love dessert.

I actually have to commend Craig for his super posing skills here. He carefully set up this shot so that it actually looks like our kitchen is clean. This is the one spot in our kitchen that was not completely covered with turkey grease due to my extreme messiness when I cook. And behind me, spilling out of the sink, are tons of dirty dishes. But you don't see that and it looks like our kitchen was spotless at 1pm on Thanksgiving day - that's a photography miracle.

So that was our Thanksgiving. I am really glad I only had to make those few things, I can't imaging trying to fit more baking and cooking into those days. I commend you, full Thanksgiving dinner cookers. I commend you.

Thanks for Not Breeding

I must say that I'm glad to learn that these people have decided not to reproduce.

"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.

"Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."

Aggies Win!

A&M 38, Texas 30.

Whoop!

Logan is Quite Safe

A year ago, I wrote about how Logan was rated the 9th-safest metropolitan area in the US. Logan had plummeted from the #1 ranking it earned in 2005. I speculated on what impact my arrival in Logan would have in this year's ratings:

Since I am an efficient, lethal killing machine, I expect Logan's rankings to drop at least to #12.

Well, it turns out that Logan actually regained its #1 rating. It turns out I had a Chuck Norris-type effect on the city. When Norris moves to town, the criminals immediately report to jail, because that beats the alternative. In a similar manner, it appears that Logan's criminals have fled, in order to escape my wrath.

My Least Favorite City

As longtime readers of this site may know, I despise the city of New Orleans. While many feel sympathy for the city in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I think that event and its aftermath exposed the fact that many in that city have lost their self-reliance, and depend totally on the government. At the same time, they continue to elect incompetent and/or corrupt leaders (e.g., Ray Nagin, William Jefferson). They also seem to have a sense of entitlement. Rather than roll up their sleeves and get things done, like Mississippi seems to have done quite well, they continue to scream for more money from Washington.

And now there's this. The city's sense of entitlement extends so far that they think they deserve to host a presidential debate next year, and have reacted with outrage and offense that they didn't get one.

“Politics trumped the correct moral decision,” Ms. Milling said. “Supposedly, many people said that they would not be comfortable coming here,” because New Orleans stands as a rebuke to the federal government’s response to the hurricane.

Maybe they wouldn't feel comfortable there because of all the crime. Just a thought.

Get My Curl On

My curling post from last week got noticed by the official blog of The Curling News. They complemented me on my sweet shot, and linked to me, which resulted in lots o' traffic. I'll have to blog about curling more often. And so, I bring you this awesome shot. Not sure what language this video is in.

The circle of life

Yesterday I experiences a big milestone in my life. I helped out some college kids at the grocery store. Now, you might not understand the enormity of that if you haven't been in college recently (or are just out of your parents house and on your own) and had to go grocery shopping when you realize you don't know what you are doing. Suddenly, I would find myself frozen in fear with question like "Where do you find won-ton wrappers?" or "Where are the green onions, these things called "scallions" look like green onions, but are they the same?" What are you going to do? Most often, I'd try to call my mom but sometimes she didn't pick up. And you can't ask any of the teenage boys that work there, they have no idea.

So for a moment, you think you are going to have to go home and look up scallions on Wikipedia but then you spot her... a woman, preferable a mom whose children are not screaming at the time or knocking people over with a grocery cart, and one whose cart contains something other than kraft macaroni and cheese or frozen pizza. But once you pick out that lady (sorry guys, I don't think I've ever stopped a guy - unless I need something from the top shelf), you look confused and politely ask her your question. And she, very nicely and reassuringly provides an answer like "Wonton wrappers are found with the bagged lettuce" (because that makes sense?) or "Yes, scallions are the same as green onions."

So that is the type of situation that occurs quite frequently your freshman year and less and less as time goes on. And soon you find yourself boldly grocery shopping on your own like a real adult when you see two poor souls trying to pick out canned pumpkin. You see them watch you as you go right to the pumpkin, get what you need, then quickly grab two cans of evaporated milk before you even have to look at your list again. They look at each other, then back at you..."Uhm...so...do you know how much milk we need?"

"Well", I reply, "you have four cans of pumpkin, so if you want to make that all into pies, you'll need eight cans of evaporated milk."

"eight cans of milk, that is like $7 on milk, I didn't budget that much money for pies"

"But," I say, noticing they only have four pie crusts, "each can of pumpkin makes two pies."

"Oh, so we only need two cans of pumpkin...and four cans of milk?"

"For four pies, yep"

As I walk away, just as I'm tempted to go back and tell them, "And please don't make your pumpkin pies in graham cracker crusts, it just isn't right" when I hear the one say "I'm glad she knew what she was doing, now where are the spices?"

No, some things you have to learn the hard way. But they will make it and some day, someone will stop them and say "Ma'am...could I ask you a question?"

Explanation

The previous post may seem kind of random to you non-locals. It was meant for the KVNU site, but I was unable to properly wrap the text around the pictures, so I put it here and linked to it there.

Up until last month, one could not buy beer in this county on Sundays. However, one town, Nibley, has failed to explicitly ban Sunday sales, so a gas station there started selling beer. This, of course, was big news. It has prompted a store owner in a neighboring town to ask his city for permission to do the same. This could open the floodgates. Here's some background.

I would also like to point out that MacKenzie did the fine Photoshop work on that post. She's this site's official photo editor. If I want something in a photo, like a Groucho Marx mask, I turn to her, and she gets it done.

Firsthand Moral Outrage

A friend of mine decided to head down to Nibley today to check out the Sunday beer sales, and he sent me this report. Due to the scandalous nature of his trip, he asked that I conceal his identity. I have complied, and will refer to him as “Greg.”


This sign proves that beer is indeed for sale on Sunday. Apparently, Sunday sales are enough of a novelty that Coors produces a special sign for the occasion.


























Here's "Greg" pondering his choices:

Beer business was fairly brisk during the 15 minutes that "Greg" was there. The store manager has said that Sunday is his best day for beer sales.

After completing his purchase, "Greg" made a quick getaway, still unable to believe that he was actually buying beer on Sunday.

UPDATE: More here.

Huck Chuck

Mike Huckabee is taking full advantage of the endorsement he received from Chuck Norris, which I mentioned here. While I'm a 0% fan of Huckabee, this ad is funny:

Lost and Found

This classified ad in the local paper caught my eye:

Lost in Hyde Park by the cemetary, 1 Rotovac 360 carpet cleaning tool, $$ reward!

I have no idea what to make of this ad. Why would someone lose a carpet cleaner near the cemetary?

Newspaper ads are known to be a way for spies to communicate. That's the only theory I have.

Advent - aka the season of impatience.

I have been in the holiday spirit for a while now but I'm so torn because I think that people that start getting ready for Christmas too early are annoying. Do not put up your Christmas tree until after Thanksgiving people, I thought that was obvious, but there are already trees up, decorated and lighting peoples' living rooms. It's just wrong. That said, Michaels was having a big sale so Craig and I went and bought supplies to make our own advent wreath today. It was pretty simple, all we needed was a Styrofoam ring, an evergreen garland, some little red berries, and candles. (Thanks to my friend K. for the great idea!) I swear, I was just going to buy the supplies while they were on sale.

But then, when I got home, I had to put it together to see how it looked. Plus, you start using your advent wreath on December 1st and that is right when we are moving so I had to do it before then. And...well, those are the only excuses I can think of. Oh wait, I can still blame our consumer driven society for planting the idea of Christmas back in October. Yes, it is all "their" fault, whoever "they" may be.

So here it is, the advent wreath, a symbol of the Christmas season and our household's hope in Jesus, the true light of the world...and a symbol of my inability to be patient and wait for the real holiday season to begin. But at least it is a cute symbol :-)

Give Me a Break

One of the things I agree with the Europeans on, other than that Nicolas Sarkozy is awesome, is that people need more vacation time. You often hear that US Americans have less vacation days than other countries, and that many don't even use the days they do have. You won't find me leaving vacation days on the table, that's for sure.

I have ten days per year (until I reach five years of employment; then I get 15), and that doesn't cut it. Especially since I used nine of those days by the beginning of April this year on my wedding and honeymoon. That leaves me with one day to use over the holidays. I just know I'm going to be in the office by myself on December 24. It will be depressing.

This is made worse by the fact that MacKenzie gets 22 vacation days. Isn't that ridiculous? I'm pretty sure she's secretly planning to take a trip without me one of these days, since I don't have enough vacation days to accompany her. Send me a postcard, dear.

Something Strange

Why does John McCain's last name keep showing up uncapitalized on Google News?

Cats in Hats

Seeing that cat sweater sparked my interest. There are a lot of cats in this world, and a lot of really stupid people. I think that combination might produce some interesting products. Who says capitalism isn't good for the soul. Without it, we would get to feel the joy that comes from seeing these oh-so-interesting products:

Tuxedos:












Bumblee Bee Costume:












Camo Jacket with matching hat:













Froggy hat and collar set (technically, it was called a froggy transformation set):
I especially love how the cat is kinda sitting like a frog.













And I can't forget to include at least one dog picture. Can you tell who they are?

















Why, it's Harry Potter and his good friend Ron!

Happy Things

Things that have made me laugh in the last 24 hours:

This news story. I laughed so hard but only after telling myself, "Good Lord, that lady is stupid".

The Heely story, cont. because now I really want to see Craig actually put the wheels in his and let me watch his grace in action. And if he wanted to be really great, he would let me tape it and put it up for all y'all to see.

Cats in clothes. I would totally knit my cat a sweater...if I knew how to knit...and if I had a cat. But soon I will have a cat, and that fact makes me even more happy then seeing a cat in a sweater.

Oh,Bother

I do not have anything witty to say. I don't even have a cool WFMW which makes me sad because I like WFMW. I do not have anything to say because I am in a blog funk. Actually, I'm kinda in an everything funk. I just feel bleh. Nothing is going wrong, there isn't anything I am particularly stressed about, it's not even PMS- I'm just in a mood. Unfortunately, that includes a meal planning funk too which is especially bad with tonight being grocery shopping night. Sometimes looking at that list with it's 7 blank lines, trying to think of different meals to put on them, is like asking me trying to list all the rivers in India or something, I just can't do it.

I am really hoping that Thanskgiving will snap me out of it because I have tons of cool plans for December and I don't really want a bleh mood to ruin my holiday season. Plus, we are moving soon and I need energy and I just don't have any right now. So hopefully this mood passes quickly. But until then, call me Eeyore.

Hey Man Nice Shot

I feel the need to share with you the awesome shot I made at curling last night. In order to avoid the appearance of boastfulness, I'll inform you that this is the only good shot I made all night.

So we were behind 4-0 in the last end of the match (an end is like a baseball inning). I had the last shot (the "hammer"), and here's what the situation was (my team has the green rocks):


As you can see, we currently have the two rocks closest to the center, so we would have two points if things ended here. But we needed four points to tie things up. I reasoned that the only way we could get four points would be to take out that black rock on the left side. That would give us four rocks closer to the center than the nearest black rock.

It's not an easy shot, though, as you see. That black rock in front of the house (the target area) is in the way. But I thought maybe I could squeeze a shot past it, roughly along the trajectory of the black line:

Amazingly enough, it worked. The black rock was hit, and knocked out, and we got four points. The black rock on the left was slightly closer than the green rock on the lower right side of the image. We could have used that extra point, too, because we lost the subsequent shootout, and thus the game. Oh well.

Only One Remains

Via In From the Cold, I am pointed to this story, which tells of the only remaining living WWI veteran that served overseas. He's 106 years old. Check it out; it's interesting stuff.

This Week in Fantasy Football

I'm taking on the first place team in my fantasy football league this week, and I am currently behind by five points. However, I have one last hope, and his name is Vernon Davis, and he's the 49ers' tight end. The 49ers are taking on Seattle tonight. All I need from him is 51 receiving yards or, even better, a touchdown, and I will win. He's had over 70 yards receiving each of the last two games, so there's hope. So if you're reading this, Vernon, make me proud, and tell Alex (Smith, the QB) to PASS YOU THE BALL!

UPDATE: 1 freaking catch, 4 freaking yards...

Madness

One afternoon back in the spring, after a long day of subbing for 5th graders, I was releasing my stress onto Craig with a rant about "heelys" that went something like this.

M: Ahh, you know those stupid shoes with the wheels.

C: You mean Heelys?

M: How do you even know what they are called? Anyway, they are so awful for subs because what are you supposed to do with a bunch of kids skating all over the classroom. They were supposed to be moving around so I couldn't tell them to sit down and if they were wearing skates, I could have told them to take them off but I couldn't make them take off their shoes. I hate those things, what were their parents thinking!?! No kid of mine is ever going to have them. They won't ever be allowed in my house. No way!

C: Actually, you know those shoes of mine, the white ones. Those are Heelys.

M: Craig, but those don't have wheels in them.

C: Well, they can. They just don't right now.

Pause as I try to compute that my fully grown-up husband, who normally likes to talk about politics and weather stations and such, has a pair of shoes that most 6 year olds would be jealous of.

M: What, I can't believe you have those shoes. Do you also have shoes that light up when you walk.

C: They're cool.

M: This is madness.

Fast forward to today when I read this post about about a little girl who just had to have some heelys. I rest my case.

Meet Clyde

Hi, my name is Clyde. I am young, healthy and round. Some might describe me as prickly but I say they just don't understand how I enjoy conversations more than physical relationships. I would describe myself as an introspective listener. I love sitting in the desert for long periods of time; it's great for meditation. But I am also a colorful fellow who loves a good party. Right now, I am spending the majority of my time in MacKenzie's office but I am willing to relocate for the right gal. If you are an office plant and would like to get to know more about me, please email me at Clyde [at] officeplants4love.com

My Birthday Present

This is long overdue, but here's what MacKenzie got me for my birthday:


Here's the disclaimer from one of the monthly coupons:

*Fine print: Valid 11/01-11/31. Offer subject to term and conditions as follows. Beverage selection not limited to beer. Recipient can select a 6-pack of beer or other malt beverage, a bottle of wine, a box of wine or selected ingredients necessary to make a mixed drink. Recipient is encouraged to try new beverages and experiment, especially with items from other countries. Any accompanying snacks are optional and must be purchased by recipient. Use of coupon implies acceptance of user agreement stipulating that recipient’s wife is not held responsible for any poor choices or illness that result from good choices.

Isn't she clever?