11.21.2007

Logan is Quite Safe

A year ago, I wrote about how Logan was rated the 9th-safest metropolitan area in the US. Logan had plummeted from the #1 ranking it earned in 2005. I speculated on what impact my arrival in Logan would have in this year's ratings:
Since I am an efficient, lethal killing machine, I expect Logan's rankings to drop at least to #12.
Well, it turns out that Logan actually regained its #1 rating. It turns out I had a Chuck Norris-type effect on the city. When Norris moves to town, the criminals immediately report to jail, because that beats the alternative. In a similar manner, it appears that Logan's criminals have fled, in order to escape my wrath.

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