Don't meddle with midwives

KVNU has talked about midwives in the past and I have always found it interesting. Because of a certain bill, it has come up again and a couple people have written on their blog (see here, and here and here (the last is Craig's) about it. I haven't said much because it is actually something I am semi-passionate about and I haven't wanted to get too carried away.

When I feel strongly about something and argue about it, I can get all worked up but Craig is gone this weekend so I don't have to worry about forcing him to listen to my vents throughout the day. That happened a few weeks ago when I got into a discussion about free will, salvation, and infant baptism with some church people - it was fun :-)

Anyway, I will only say that I am semi-passionate about it because it seems weird to be passionate about baby things when I haven't had a baby yet. But I kinda am. We have pretty firm ideas about how we want to raise our kids and luckily for me, we pretty much agree. While we seem like quite the conservative, suburban-loving, someday mini-van driving couple, I do believe we are going to morph into hippies when we have kids. A couple of things we are "interested" in doing ("interested" = thinking about and will probably do but nothing is set in stone because we don't actually have kids and in the end we have to do what works for us, not what I think should work for us)
  • home birth
  • breastfeeding
  • co-sleeping
  • baby wearing
  • cloth diapers
  • homeschooling (not really just an "interested" - we will almost assuredly be doing this)
See what I mean, we want to be hippies! It makes me laugh so hard when I think about it.

Okay, back to midwives. I am interested in doing a home birth but I'm not sure what we will end up doing. (Side note: every time I say I, I probably really mean we since Craig does have some say in this, but I am still going to say I because if I don't it makes it seem like I am putting words in his mouth). But I do know that I want to be the one making the decision. I want to do the research, I want to weight the pros and cons, and I want to be the one to decide what is in the best interest of me and my baby - not some people in government who will never even meet my child.

Some people are trying to make the argument that it is too dangerous to take the risks. "You need trained professionals" they say, "We have to protect the children." First off, there is no evidence to back that up. The UMA saying it is dangerous is not evidence, it is an opinion. The facts don't back the UMA up. And since the burden of proof is on them, we could end the argument there but just for fun, I'll keep going.

Protect from whom? What they are really saying is, "I think the parents are too stupid to make their own informed decision and we have to save the baby from them". Do you really think parents are just going to do this on a whim? I would say that a woman that chooses home birth is probably more informed that the average birther. Where are those pro-choice people now. I can choose to abort my baby but I shouldn't be able to choose where and with whom I deliver him/her? That makes no sense. I feel like I have to fight against this because when the time comes, I want Craig and I to be able to decide what we want to do, ourselves. If we can't, I am going to be one mad hormonal woman. And that would just be sad for Craig.


  1. I'm all about your right to birth at home, and your right to birth at all. And when you do make your hippie conversion, I'll be there with recycled canvas shopping bags to welcome you!

  2. Yeah for grandkids! I can't wait!! But I guess I will have to for now :) And until then I will repeat this mantra . . . I will not but in . . . I will not but in . . .

  3. I have strong opinions in each of these areas.

    Where we agree:

    I am all for cloth diapers. I don't think I could do them (I have issues.), but having several friends online who run AMAZING cloth diaper materials stores (Like Kerflop), and having seen them in action, it isn't TOTALLY out for me.

    I think in many ways they are awesome.

    Also? Amen for homeschooling. Again, I think I am not up for the task but for mom's that can do it? AMEN AMEN AMEN! Kudo's to you. Plus, the homeschooling movement is getting so big...There are so many resources.

    Where we disagree.

    I don't agree with home births at all. I DO believe in the right to have as homey an environment as possible and the use of midwives, dulas, etc. but in a medical setting. I've seen and experienced how fast it can all go wrong.

    While I LOVE the idea of a family bed. The bonding, etc. I'm just way too afraid of smothering. We were thinking about it with my first baby, but one day during feeding I nodded off and my husband shook me awake because I was partially smothering him. It freaked me the heck out.

    When I married Jon and we had Christopher, we looked at it again, but decided that our bed and bedroom was strictly OURS unless one of the kids was sick enough that they needed to sleep with mom or dad for help during the night.

    My sister is still trying to get their 9 year old out of her bed.
    They have no privacy and difficulty with intimacy and I just didn't want to go there.

    I do realize that I am uber cautious because of my own experience, but there it is.

  4. I have to agree and disagree on this one as well.

    Loralee's argument here (and in the KVNU chat they day this conversation took place) is very logical and makes sense enough that 1. were I a woman and 2. were I knocked up, I would follow her cautionary advice.

    Still, the argument in the post gets at something that leads me to supporting pro-choice legislation and policy. Choice.

    This issue is similar to the abortion argument. It should never become "do you personally agree with this practice" but rather should your government make these types of decisions for you.

    And no, no they shouldn't.

    And good luck with those cloth diapers you Hippies! (You probably recycle too!)


  5. Wow, MacKenzie - that's hard core. I'd be afraid to have a baby without the hospital and the pain-killing drugs. But more power to you ;) After all, if you're baby is born at your house, that considerably lessens the chance that you take home the wrong one =P

  6. Tina - I will only take the bags if they are cute, one must never sacrifice style for the earth. :-)

    June - I think you mean, butt. Haha, I just said butt to my mom.

    Loralee - So do think that home births are a bad choice that people should be allowed to make or do you think that it shouldn't be an option at all?

    Jason, the - I agree with you, partly. I have no problem with Loralee deciding not to have a home birth, or even trying to convince me not to have a home birth. Just because there is a choice doesn't mean that other people can't think that choice is bad, as Loralee thinks the decision for a home birth is. But I think I have the right to make that decision anyway.

    I disagree with you about abortion though because my rights stop when the begin infringing on another person's rights. A parent can't infringe on their young child's right not to be abused or killed. And since I believe that an unborn baby is a person, he/she has those same rights. The government should make the decision to protect the right of those children, born or unborn.

    If the statistics show that home births were so dangerous that in choosing that option, I would in effect be abusing my child, I do think that is a logical argument for prohibiting the practice. But they don't show that so it becomes a choice that the government should butt out of.

    Lemming - Exactly, those are the types of risks you just can't take. :-)